


Better Than Me

by acxnitum



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Imprinting, Post-Breaking Dawn, Shapeshifting, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12266715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acxnitum/pseuds/acxnitum
Summary: Ainsley Black lived a fairly normal life; her mother was her best friend, her brothers were her protectors and her step-father was the only father she ever could have hoped for.Since their move back to the cold beaches of La Push, Ainsley hasn't been able to feel sure of herself. In anything she does, she moves with question. Painfully plain and dull, Ainsley struggles to grow into herself as she becomes an adult.Her life begins to feel a little less normal after her family reties their good graces with her uncle and his son. And she likes that she doesn't feel normal, that the men her cousin had befriended make her feel important, special.Particularly, Paul.





	1. Chapter 1

Another rainy morning had come along; the clouds hung low and grey while the gentle breeze bit at her exposed skin. La Push had always been more considerably beautiful than any other place she had lived for one simple fact: it was a beacon of nature. The tree tops peaked in the distance from her place on her back porch, the green stretching as far as she could see on either side. Despite the chained fence that squared off their property, the inviting underbrush sat a few yards away, leafy and welcoming. Ainsley preferred this scenery far more than the high-tops of buildings and the busy sound of traffic.

Iyah sniffed the ground, snorting in a sort of disapproval every odd minute. He was still too small to fit into all of the skin his body had formed, but considering the definition in his legs, Ainsley would say one of the boys had been taking Iyah on their run. She folded her arms across her chest, impatiently tapping her foot while she watched the animal paw at the ground just outside the fence.

“Iyah! Enough!” She scolded, her brows pulling together. The dog halted his movements for a brief moment, pausing to glance over his shoulder with a cocked ear. His head tilted to the right for a short moment before his tongue lolled out from the side and he happily trotted towards her. He hadn’t even peed.

She couldn’t be bothered to stand in the cold any longer; despite the calendar that printed **SEPTEMBER** , colder weather always seemed to crawl around earlier and earlier each passing year. Ainsley held the door open for the pup, watching him shake off any excess water before he slipped into the house. She carefully locked the back door, and shrugged out of her jacket with a shiver, “It’s freezing in here.” She mumbled to no one in particular, pushing her feet into her slippers to pad down the hallway to the kitchen.

Trent sat in his usual seat against the wall, nose deep in the paper whilst chewing loudly around a mouthful of cereal. Ainsley tried not to notice as she pushed the lid down on her Tassimo and slipped two waffles into the toaster.

“TJ left early today, huh?” Ainsley asked casually, noticing the missing pair of keys from the hook just beside the archway.

Trenton offered a quiet ‘ _mhm_ ’, dropping his spoon back into the bowl with a clink.

Most mornings were like this: Ainsley, Trent and TJ were usually the first to get up and show signs of human life. Mainly because Trent and TJ had jobs to attend to, but Ainsley always felt less accomplished with her day if she spent in laying in bed. It was part of her whole ‘fresh start’ phase since their move back to the reservation.

“And Travis?” She asked, stirring the creamer into her mug.

“Still sleeping.” Trent mused, folding the paper in half and sliding it to the center of the table. “Y’know, he purposely picked electives with later starts so he could get an extra three hours of sleep?”

Ainsley definitely believed it - as passionate as Travis was about criminal justice, he was certainly less passionate about being awake before 9 am. Early mornings had never been his strong suit. More often than not, Ainsley spent most of her mornings as a child watching cartoons with Trent before school instead of Travis - mainly because he would sleep through his alarm clock (or shut it off completely) and arrive late to school. It became less of an issue when Travis hit high school and mom stopped caring. As long as he showed up, that was enough for her.

Ainsley sat in her place parallel to Trent and doused her waffles in syrup, “Are we still going to Billy’s? For the birthday thing?”

Every year for as long as she could remember, Billy Black had mailed off an invitation to a small barbecue he hosted for himself in a celebration of his birthday. Sarah wasn’t around to throw them herself, and everyone had expected the festivities to continue. Billy didn’t like to disappoint. In the last few years, the family had been absent from the reservation and was unable to partake, but Jennie had been hellbent on reminding her children that they had better pull through for her and make a good impression.

Ainsley never worried - her relationship with Billy was pretty standard. He was her favourite ( _and only_ ) uncle, he was the father of her favourite ( _and only_ ) cousins and he spent a lot of time paying attention to her once Jacob had gotten old enough to play with Travis and Trent, and had decided as a team that girls had cooties.

She hadn’t seen her cousins in nearly eight years - the last she saw Jacob was this time before he went into the ninth grade. She was eleven then, still too young to play with Rebecca and Rachel, so she had opted to play with Trent, Travis and Jacob and their friends. Travis might’ve been younger than Jake and Trent, but he made good on his word to be just as responsible: he never tattled, he never cried and he always put up a good fight.

“As far as I know. Dad should be home before three - your mom should be coming home soon, her shift should’ve ended almost an hour ago.”

Ainsley admired her mother’s stamina - she worked as a registered nurse at the hospital in Forks, made the long drive there and back without many complaints, and worked overtime when necessary. They had been short-staffed in the last few months, so Jennie was working night-shifts to cover for those who had young children at home. As Ainsley and her brothers were fully capable of fending for themselves, time away from her home was a small sacrifice she was willing to make.

They finished their breakfast in silence, with Trenton offering to clear the table. “You should shower, Ains. You _stink_.”

She skewered her face in offense, “I do not.” She growled, pulling a few strands of her hair to her nose to inhale quietly. “Don’t be a dick.”

Trent waved her words away with a soapy hand, and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

-

The clock read **2:38 PM** on the dresser in her room. Ainsley had already finished her reading for the day, had showered and made her mother lunch. She was putting off having to actually clean her room, gnawing on her bottom lip as she continuously glanced at the two baskets full of clean, folded laundry followed by the mounting heap of dirty clothing on the floor.

Iyah was curled up beside her legs on the bed, stretching out over the white duvet. For years, her mother insisted they needed a family pet and for years the family had reminded her that no one really had the patience or the time to take care of an animal. It wasn’t until Trent and Ainsley found Iyah hiding in the underbrush by the beach that they talked as a family about reopening that topic of discussion. His ears were still dopey, making him far less frightening than other pitbull terriers who had to ‘look tough’. His coat was grey and shiny, save for the strip of white on the underside of his belly and around his paws. He was gorgeous and easily Ainsley’s favourite good boy.

“Hey, Ains?” She heard her mother call from across the hall, “Could you come here for a minute?”

A petulant sigh slipped passed her lips as she leaned down to press a kiss to Iyah’s head and roll off her bed. “What’s up?” Ainsley asked, immediately crawling over the heaping pile of blankets in her mother’s bed.

“I’m gonna head on over to Billy’s early to help with some stuff. Wanna come?” Ainsley very much enjoyed that her mother always asked; some kids in her neighbourhood had grown up without very much choice or say, and she had always appreciated that Jennie gave her the option. She always respected when Ainsley said no, but that was a rare incidence.

“Sure.” She smiled, propping her head up on her knuckles, “Who’s all going?”

Jennie was rummaging around in the closet, pulling out articles of clothing as she went, “Apart from your uncle and Jacob, Sue Clearwater - and you remember Sue and Harry’s kids, right?” Right. Harry had died almost 6 years ago to the date.

“Seth and Leah.” Ainsley nodded.

“Plus some new additions, I suppose. Sam Uley and his wife will be there with their niece, along with Jared -” He was a distant relative of some sort, from what she remembered. “- and his fiancee, Quil and Embry,” Boys Trent and Travis frequently got into trouble with, “Paul, and some other guys that Jacob made friends with.”

Jennie finally exited the closet wearing a royal blue plaid shirt and a pair of dark jeans. It was very rare that Ainsley saw her mother in anything other than her pale green scrubs, and she couldn’t help but beam at the sight of her. “Look’s good. TJ will like the top.”

Her mother smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Ainsley’s forehead before she turned towards the bathroom, “Can you help me with my hair? I can never get the braid straight.”

Forty-five minutes later, the pair of them were hurrying through the rain towards Ainsley’s jeep at the end of the driveway. Ainsley had spent so much time helping her mother look her best, that she had very little time for herself. Still, she thought she had done a pretty decent job with the floor-length stripped dress. It definitely made up for the lack of effort she put into her face and hair.

“So Travis won’t be joining us until after his last class at 6,” Ainsley glanced at the dashboard; that wouldn’t be for almost another two hours, “And Trent and TJ are both leaving work now, they should be there soon.”

The ride to Billy’s house was familiar. She had never personally driven down the streets herself, but remembered being squished in between her brothers in the backseat in her early childhood years. The place hadn’t changed much - the garage still sat open and barely used in the distance, but the wooden ramp was a new addition to the front porch. Ainsley had remembered her mother talking about how his diabetes had given him some complications a few years back, and he now relied on a wheelchair to get him around.

She parked as close as she could to the house, saving the paved driveway for cars that couldn’t roll through the mud quite as easily as her’s could. She slipped over the console and followed her mother’s footsteps to the deck, and then bolted inside.

It was a lot smaller than she remembered, but perhaps that was because there had always been less people present. The kitchen was overflowing with food, laughs streamed into her ears from the living room.

One thing Ainsley noticed about the group of people as she entered the room was this: they were certainly a family. They were grouped together, while all very different in many ways, they were all very similar, too. In some way, each being in this room was connected by the tribe and the blood of our ancestors, not that Ainsley or her mother had ever paid much attention.

The next thing she noticed was that it was particularly warm, despite the cold weather and rain on the other side of the window. She brushed it off as body heat due to the close proximity of each individual in the room, and smiled when her bright blue hues landed on Billy’s warm smile.

“There’s my girl!” He boomed, wheeling himself forward with one out-stretched hand. “Look at you, you’re nearly as gorgeous as your mother when she was your age.”

She bent down to wrap her arms around his frame, squeezing a second longer than she originally intended before she pulled away and looked him over, “You look good, man. Not a day over forty-five.”

“Oh, hush you.” He squinted, turning his attention to Jennie. Ainsley filtered her eyes across the bodies in the room - mainly unfamiliar faces, which put her at unease - until she landed on a pair of brown orbs. He looked much different than she remembered; his hair was cut short and his body had grown nearly an entire foot and a half. Jacob’s frame looked too big as he leaned against the archway, offering an impish smile when he met her eyes.

She stepped forward, narrowing her eyes in his direction, “Jacob Black,” She started, folding her arms over her chest, “You look - “ Ainsley paused, at a loss for the right word. She shook her head, “I don’t know what Billy’s been cooking at these barbecues for the last eight years, but if it’ll make me grow another three inches, I’ll have seconds.”

Jacob offered a loud laugh, letting his head fall back momentarily before he shot an arm out and pulled her into his side.

Jacob was definitely overheated, too.

They spent an hour talking about everything; Jacob mentioned that he had fell behind in school and was homeschooled, and finished on time. That he graduated from college this past summer, and had opened his own shop in the town working with Embry. He introduced her to most of the others - she vaguely remembered Seth, Leah and Sue. Quil was present, but remained preoccupied with Emily’s niece.

Ainsley had spent very little time paying Emily attention, as Sam seemed to notice her staring and his eyes glowered down at her in a way that made her feel incredibly small.

It was a quarter after six, and the last of the group was just arriving. The rain had stopped long enough for the sun to peak through the grey clouds in the sky, which resulted in a shift in the crowd. They gathered in the kitchen and on the porch, windows and doors wide open. Ainsley kept herself close to her brothers, who seemed to be falling into place easily with their high school friends.

“Look how beefy you are, Trent.”

“Trent? Have you seen the biceps on Trav?” One of the boys yelled, “He’s _massive_!”

 _You’re all massive._ Ainsley thought to herself, eyes scanning over the crowd again. The majority of the boys that Travis and Trent grew up with were all marked with the same black ink on their right-hand shoulder. They were all towering over six feet, and all equally solid in raw muscle mass. Despite their age, and their incessant need to cling onto their youth, there was particular seriousness that loomed over the group. Ainsley could at least feel some calm in that.

“Well, well, well.” Jared tsked, sitting up straight, “Look who finally showed up.”

All eyes darted towards the back door, watching the last of the stragglers enter the kitchen. She recognized Colin - he was another cousin, roughly her age - followed by another ( _for a lack of better words_ ) child and Paul, whom she remembered from when the boys were forced to play with Jared.

“Paul had some business to take care of,” Colin quipped, pulling one of the plastic plates off the counter.

Ainsley watched the sea of people groaned quietly, “We’re never going to hear the end of this.” Quil muttered to himself, shoving another spoonful of macaroni salad into his mouth. “It’s always someone new, never the same girl twice.”

“Who’d you pick to ruin this week?” Embry asked, a teasing smile gracing his full lips as he leaned an elbow on the counter, “Was it that blonde from the beach last week?”

Paul let out a snort, stealing the last bit of Embry’s hotdog off his plate. Embry whined in protest. “Nah, she’s a lot tougher to break.”

Ainsley sat in her place in the corner, barely watching as the boys moved shoulder to shoulder, playfully shoving each other into walls and countertops. Their conversation grew loud and boisterous, mimicking the slurred laughs and words of the adults sitting just outside. Ainsley looked through the window to where he mother and TJ sat, curled up next to each other on the stairs. Jennie might not have found true love with Ainsley’s father, but Ainsley was certain she had love now. She couldn’t imagine anyone loving her the way TJ loved her mother.

The sun was setting behind the trees, and the bonfire had already started when Trent finally broke away from the group in the living to rejoin Ainsley in the kitchen. No one had seemed to notice she had stayed behind to clear the kitchen and tie the trash bags, not that she minded, really. While this place felt like something familiar and these people were certainly her family, she couldn’t find herself fitting in. In turn, Ainsley saw no reason to force it.

“Here, let me take that.” Trent offered, pulling the heavy garbage bag away from her tiny hands. “Why don’t you go and sit with Travis, Jacob’s been asking for you.”

Ainsley shrugged, looking around the kitchen for the cupboard that hid unused bags, “These are your people, Trent, not mine.” She mused quietly, moving the trash can into its original seat. “Besides, someone has to make sure the adults don’t set someone on fire.” She lifted her chin towards all of the empty beer bottles on the kitchen table, which led Trent to lean over the sink to look out of the window at the group of people that lounged on logs settled around the large fire.

The voices from the living room picked up, the conversation trailing into the kitchen as three of the boys reentered with the last remaining dishes, “Leave her alone, T. If she wants to pout in the corner, let her.” Travis bit, tossing his dish into the warm water.

Ainsley felt her shoulders drop slightly, forcing her eyes to focus on scrubbing the cups in the soapy water.

“Who is this anyway?” She heard someone ask - which was promptly followed by a smack.

Trent folded his arms next to his sister, shaking his head slightly as Travis spoke, “This,” He started, moving forward to wrap an arm around Ainsley’s neck, “Is my baby sister.” She appreciated the certain pride he had in his words, but winced slightly under the word baby.

“So, she’s off limits?”

This time, Ainsley let out a laugh and dropped her sponge in the water, “Yes. She’s _off limits_.”

There was another laugh, followed by another smack. “Give it up, Seth.” Jacob warned from the living room.

“Yeah, Seth, give it a rest - “ Paul began, twirling away from her to face the group, “She needs a real man.”

Ainsley rolled her eyes and turned to face the boys, placing one hand on her hip as the opposite clenched the countertop in her tiny fist. “Really? A real man?” She asked curtly, narrowing her eyes on the back of Paul’s skull. “What would you know about being a real man?”

There was a quiet moment as all eyes snapped to her, and then Paul, watching his body stiffen under the surface. He made a point to turn slowly, his face and chest pink under the skin with slight anger, “What do I know about being a real man?” He growled, feet fully turned so he was facing her.

Ainsley remained unmoved; not at all bothered by the obvious tension in the room. Her blue hues cut to his, and she paused. This was the first time in nearly ten years she was looking at Paul - really looking at him. As much as he resembled the other eight in the house, face full of the Quileute gene, he also looked nothing like them. His eyes were a warmer amber, appearing as though they were two milk chocolate pools with flecks of gold swimming along the surface. Her eyes swept the length of his body quickly: his shirt all but clung to his body, the russet colour of his skin seeping through the thin white material. His fists slowly opened and relaxed, shoulders dropping with each breath he took. He looked deadly, but simply gorgeous in his very own way.

She brought her eyes to his again, the heat colouring her cheeks when she realized his eyes remained unmoving from her face.

“What - “ He pursed his lips together, pulling his brows together in the middle. From her perhiperal vision, she watched Trenton shift uneasily, his eyes narrowing in on Paul’s just as hers had been a few moments ago.

There was a loud snap that bit through the air, causing everyone to turn their heads towards the window. “C’mon!” Billy called from his place next to Sue, waving at the group inside the kitchen, “Bring me another beer, would ya?”

One by one, bodies trudged from the living room and out into the backyard. Paul remained in place, his eyes carefully watching over Ainsley as she wiped her hands on a cloth and shouldered past him.

Suddenly warm fingers wrapped around her wrist, forcing her to turn around and face him. Ainsley twisted her hand out from his grip, holding it in shock. Not because he had hurt her, but because the warmth of his touch seemed to burn through her skin into her veins. “What’s your name?” He asked quietly, reaching for her wrist once more.

Ainsley took a slow step back, blinking frantically as she held her wrist against her chest. “Ainsley.” She said absently, watching his face relax at the sound of her voice. She tried not to linger any longer than necessary, reluctantly turning to push out the door out of her way to join her family.


	2. SOUNDS LIKE A SEXIST THING

She kept her eyes locked on the blazing fire, every so often the smoke would gravitate towards her and she would cover her eyes to keep them from burning. Ainsley would move her eyes from the fire to only scan the crowd, admire the way the light illuminated across the features of her extended family. When she locked eyes with Paul, she’d linger a moment or two longer, watching the way the flames danced in his brown orbs before she’d have to look away to keep the heat from rising in her cheeks. Ainsley found herself growing more uncomfortable as the night went on, trying to avoid making unnecessary conversation, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

The numbers on her phone read **11:34 PM**. Ainsley felt the coldness seeping into her bones, her breath swirling out in cloudy circles in the bitter air. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging Trenton’s jacket around her frame tightly. She thought back to the warmth of the house earlier in the day, suddenly longing for some sort of warmth. Kim, Emily - even Claire - all seemed to be toasty warm alongside their respective campfire partners. Claire was only nine, and had yet to complain once about the bite in the wind that moved around their bodies.

Ainsley looked to her mother, who seemed so incredibly content and at home alongside her brother. She almost felt bad for wanting to leave so soon; she knew how much time like this meant to Jennie. Instead, she turned her attention to Travis, who was in the middle of talking about his program at the Peninsula College.

“So, what? You’re gonna be a cop like your dad?” Seth asked, twirling a short strand of hair between his fingers.

Travis shrugged, “That wasn’t necessarily the plan. I was thinking more about security or corrections.” He grinned, rubbing his hands together between his knees. “Something a little more hands on.”

Ainsley rolled her eyes, sharing a knowing glance with Trent as he shook his head in slight disapproval. While the boys had always been the type to fight it out, Trent believed less that violence was a stable foundation to create a career from. Travis might have had a good heart, but his siblings were aware that he was approaching it with the wrong mindset. They just didn’t know how to tell him.

Seth pursed his lips, seeming to consider Travis’s answer in the same manner TJ had. He wanted to believe there was some positive reinforcement, but sometimes Travis was quite simply a jerk that wanted to be the biggest jjerk with a legitimate reason. Ainsley loved her brother very much, but she couldn’t help but think he was looking forward to being a jerk for the rest of his life because he felt like he wouldn’t be able to accomplish much else.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Leah quipped from her place beside Kim, her fingers gripping tightly onto the bottle in her hand. “Corrections is a really great area to get into, we could use better rehabilitation.”

Travis seemed to appreciate her words, and raised his beer. “I’ll drink to that.” He laughed, tilting his head back as he took a few swigs.

Ainsley went back to watching the fire, thought about moving her chair forward, thought about joining Sam and Emily on the other side to side on a log closer to the fire. But Paul rested so comfortably beside Sam, so she quickly dismissed that idea. After fifteen minutes, she mumbled something about needing to go home before her toes fell off. She shrugged out of Trenton’s jacket, handing it back to him despite his obvious interest in the conversation between the other boys.

Jennie looked up at her as she was leaving, raising an eyebrow in silent question, “I’m going to head home.” Ainsley smiled sheepishly, “Did you two need a ride home?” She asked, looking down at the empty bottles her parents had finished off and put away to the side.

TJ shook his head, “Trent’s going to drive us back since Trav can’t.” Ainsley looked over to where Travis popped the cap off another bottle, his own collection growing around his feet.

“Just get home safe, ‘kay?” She leaned down to wrap her arms around her mother, pressing a kiss to her cheek before she turned around to head back towards the side of the house where she had parked and wrapped her arms around herself.

Just as she was about to reach the porch, she heard her mother calling out her name, “Ains, baby, wait a sec!”

Ainsley turned around, trying not to let the slight annoyance surface onto her features as she looked backwards towards where her mother stood gesturing to Paul, exchanging a few words before she looked over at her daughter.

“Would you mind giving Paul a ride?”

Ainsley froze in place for a moment, trying not to think about being in such a confined space with such an arrogant person. Didn’t matter how hot he was, she didn’t about how much she had caught herself searching for his eyes all night. Paul was standing just beside her mother, watching and waiting patiently for Ainsley to give indication he had her permission. She pressed her lips together, her eyes just barely fluttering shut before she nodded her head hastily. “Sure.”

One side of Paul’s mouth turned up in a smile, causing her heart to flutter in her chest. Damn it. Ainsley watched as he leaned over the fire to talk to Jared and Kim, their hands meeting briefly in a sort of goodbye bro-shake before he turned to jog to where she stood, lips fully spread into a wide smile. “Thanks for the ride.” He said, slowing to a walk just beside her as she turned around the corner of the house.

“Mhm,” She hummed, slipping her eyes away from his to watch the ground as they walked. “Were you drinking? You only had like two - ” She stopped herself, chewing on her inner cheek for a moment before she cleared her throat and continued, “I mean, I didn’t see you drinking all that much. Couldn’t drive yourself?”

Paul rose a single brow, and shook his head. “Nah, I work night shifts three times a week.” He looked down at her folded arms and bumped her hip as they walked, “I also don’t have a car - well, I do. I just prefer to use my feet as my main method of transportation. Speaking of driving -” He stopped her short of her Jeep, pulling his brows together as he breathed through his next words, “Can I drive?”

Ainsley blinked, staring up at him in astonishment for a moment. She had been asked for a ride home plenty of times - from the time she had received her license and purchased her beloved Jeep, girlfriends had asked her for rides to Port Angeles numerous times. Never had anyone asked for a ride and to drive. “Uh - what?”

“It’s not a sexist thing, I swear.” He started, holding his hands up, “I just don’t feel comfortable with girls driving. That’s all. It’s a thing.”

Ainsley snorted, folding her arms over her chest, “That definitely sounds like a sexist thing.”

Paul pressed his palm into his forehead and let out a sigh, “I promise it isn’t - just, please?” He asked, dropping his hands beside his legs, his eyes weary with a sort of pleading. When she didn’t move, he sighed again in frustration, “There was an accident a few years ago, a chick was driving, we got into an accident - wasn’t her fault or anything, I just feel more comfortable if I’m the one driving.”

Ainsley opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t exactly find the words. What was she supposed to say? _Sorry about your luck, but I’m driving?_ She wasn’t that much of an asshole. Her arms dropped and she held the keys out between her thumb and index finger, “You didn’t need to tell me all of that - I was gonna let you drive.” She lied, trying to shrug nonchalantly as she offered a smile.

Paul snatched the keys from her fingers and leaned forward as his eyes squinted at her, “Uh huh.” She turned, jogging quickly around to the passenger side of the vehicle, settling into the seat for the first time. It felt a little strange, watching Paul readjust the seat to fit his body - even when the seat went as far back as it could, he still looked too big.

She smiled to herself, reaching forward to flip on the heat while Paul started the Jeep. Her fingers pressed against the heater eagerly, body shivering slightly. “How aren’t you freezing?” She asked, a little harsher than she intended but perhaps that was because she was envious of the obvious fact he sat more comfortably in front of the fire.

“You’re cold?” He asked, reaching with both hands to take hers. Paul rubbed his palms over her fingers, the warmth burning her skin in the most pleasant way. Ainsley watched his long fingers wrap around her hands, in awe of how the heat trailed through her veins, causing an immediate eruption of goosebumps to coat her skin.

“You’re not?” She asked dubiously, slipping her hands away from his once she realized he had yet to let them go.

Paul shrugged, pulling the gear shift into drive before he twisted the wheel and brought the Jeep into a steady roll forward. Ainsley looked outside of her window, watching the group around the fire laugh - her eyes momentarily locked with Trent’s before she moved her stare forward as the car pulled into the street. “Cold doesn’t really bother me all too much.” He said simply after a few moments, shifting in the driver's seat for a moment before he awkwardly rested his left elbow against the window and leaned to the side, guiding the wheel with his right hand.

“Everyone gets cold.” She argued spitefully, cursing herself when she inherently leaned forward into the heaters again.

The male chuckled, rubbing his lips with his free hand, “Not everyone, babydoll.”

Ainsley cut her eyes towards him, skewing her mouth into a sort of disdain before she laughed once, “Do not,” She started, shaking her head, “Call me that ever again.”

“Ever?”

" **Ever.** "

Paul smiled again, this time more to himself. “Don’t like nicknames?”

She looked at him again, turning in her seat a little to get a better look at him. “Only one.” Even in the dark, with his face barely illuminated by the odd streetlight he looked content and at ease. She wasn’t completely sure how he managed to keep himself so put together, especially given his past. She knew of Paul and his tantrums - the kind of future he had paved for himself seemed to resemble much of the future Travis was currently strolling down. Somewhere along the way, though, it appeared as though he got his shit together. He looked so .. grown up. 

_He is twenty-two._ She thought to herself. It was something different. Trenton was also twenty-two, but he didn’t hold anywhere near the same cautious and controlled face Paul did. Like at any moment Paul could break or snap, like he needed to keep himself in line from saying or doing something that he wasn’t supposed to. His eyes appeared tired, despite his typically happy and relaxed demeanor. Ainsley wondered if had slept. 

The next few moments were silent, save for the quiet thrum of the bass in the music and the blast of the heaters. It wasn’t until they turned right passed the resort that she realized they were driving towards her house. She leaned back in her seat, eyebrows pulled together as he pulled the Jeep up to the curb and cut the ignition, turning to her. 

“What are you doing?” She asked. 

Paul looked around for a moment, his brows mimicking hers, “I drove you home?” He asked, seeming as confused as Ainsley was. 

“You asked me for a ride home.” She said. 

“Yes.” 

“Then you asked to drive.” 

“Yes.” 

Ainsley braced her hands on the dashboard, her words coming out slowly, “What happened to getting home?” 

Paul snorted, pulling the handle on the door as he slipped out of the car. She watched him walk over to her side leisurely, opening her door with a broad smile. “What?” He asked, his smile faltering just the slightest when he noticed she appeared unwilling to move. 

“I’m not sleeping with you.” She hissed angrily, swinging her legs out the door. 

He held up his hands again, raising his eyebrows high as he shook his head quickly, “Woah, I never - I didn’t drive you home to try to sleep with you.” 

Ainsley shot him another dubious look, “Right. You drove me home, knowing no one would be here, just for the sake of driving me home?” She pressed, squinting her eyes at him. 

“Uh, yeah?” He asked, taking a step away from the door. “You literally live on the edge of town with nothing but forest. Sue me for wanting to make sure you got home okay.” He spat, folding his arms across his chest. Ainsley could see his expression shift from genuine confusion to annoyance. 

“How did you even know where I lived?” 

He laughed once, “You’re kidding, right?” He asked. When she didn’t respond, he shook his head, “It’s a small town. It’s a newer property. Your mom is nurse and your step-dad is a detective. Wasn’t hard to put two and two together.” 

Ainsley squinted again, “You really didn’t come here to try to make a pass at me?” 

Paul licked his lips and shook his head, “No. I didn’t.” His hand shot out to help her when she started to climb out of the vehicle, “I actually wanted to ask if you were doing anything tomorrow afternoon.” 

“Why?” 

He paused, confused that his question wasn’t already clear enough, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come play soccer?” When she looked at him like he had three heads, he shut the car door and turned to walk up her driveway, “Once a week we try to get together and do something together - Billy’s birthday was going to be the thing for the week but I talked to Sam about it and he thinks it would be a good idea -” 

“Who is ‘we’?” She asked, wrapping her arms around her body. 

“The boys - Sam, Jared, Jacob, Seth, tweedle dum and tweedle dee - plus some of the girls. Kim usually, Emily doesn’t like running around so much. And Leah.” 

“And you play soccer?” She asked, moreso for clarification that she hadn’t entirely misheard him. 

He nodded, “Once a week.” He added. 

“And this was your idea?” She asked, eyeing him suspiciously. 

Paul froze for a moment, pressing his lips together, “Yeah. I didn’t exactly make the greatest impression earlier today,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I wanted to see you again, I just figured you’d be more comfortable if it were a group setting.” 

Ainsley blinked a few times, trying to get past the part where he had mentioned he had wanted to see her again. Her heart fluttered again, warmth creeping over her chest. She appreciated that he was trying to accommodate her, but she wouldn’t let it be known that she wasn’t entirely sure she fit in with that crowd. “I think soccer would be great.” She smiled, turning to grab the keys from his hand. 

“Yeah?” He asked, another smile breaking across his face. 

She nodded, placing her hand on the doorknob, “I have to be home at a reasonable hour to do some school stuff, but I wouldn’t totally hate to kill some hours with you guys.” Ainsley watched as Paul smiled triumphantly, letting out a laugh as she twisted the knob and opened the door, “Now go home.” 

Paul shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts and waited until the door shut behind her before he turned to talk down the street. Ainsley watched from behind the curtains until his figure disappeared into the darkness before she retired to her room, trying to suppress she smile as she dressed herself for bed and collapsed into the bedsheets.


	3. THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY

The sound pierced through the silence of the early morning, jolting her from her sleep. Ainsley froze in place, wondering if it were worth rolling over to slap snooze on her alarm clock. Her memory jogged back to the prior night, unsure of when she had eventually fallen asleep. After sliding into the comfort of her bed, the teen had spent easily several hours tossing and turning, butterflies erupting in her stomach every so often as a gentle reminder than in 10 hours time she had the pleasure of gracing a tightly knit group with her presence.

A group she had previously felt incredibly left out of.

A group she knew very well she didn’t belong apart of.

 _Don’t be a pussy._ She scolded to herself, pushing up with her palms to flip onto her right side and bring her fingers down on the red button on her clock. The air silenced again, and she relaxed into the pillows, her eyes scanning over shadowed objects of her room as she pulled the white duvet to her chin, shivering against the cool breeze that drifted in through her window. While she had previously contemplated rolling over to get another few hours of rest, she heaved a sigh and slipped her feet out from the covers, standing up with more effort than usual.

She grabbed her towel off the back of her chair and made her way into the hall; the soft clatter of dishes and sizzle in a pan indicated that either Trent or TJ were in the kitchen cooking some sort of meal. She poked her head through the crack of her mother’s bedroom door, smiling when she saw her mother laying on top of the blankets, still fully clothed with the exception of her shoes which had very obviously been pried off of her feet. Ainsley shut the door quickly and made her way to the bathroom, turning the shower on full heat before she stripped down and ran her fingers through her hair.

She took her time washing away the restless night; she focused on letting the pressure of the water massage into her shoulders and upper back, straining her neck to the side every so often to encourage the warmth to ease the tension. After what seemed like an eternity, Ainsley massaged her scalp with the shampoo and lathered her ends in conditioner, letting the moisturizer seep into her hair as she shaved and cleaned the remainder of her body. She hadn’t realized how hot the shower had been until the air threw thick with humidity, and her skin turned beet red. She switched the dial back to cool, washing the remnants from her hair before she shut the water off completely and stepped out of the tub onto the squishy pad just outside of shower.

She was pulled from her thoughts when a loud fist banged on the opposite side of the door, following by a muffled plea. Travis was awake, which meant Travis really needed to use the bathroom. Ainsley pulled her towel tightly around her frame, and twisted the lock on the knob.

“ _Christ_ , Ains. You’ve been in there for forty fucking minutes.” He grumbled, arms folded across his bare chest with his lips pulled into a scowl. She tried to not laugh at the disarray of his hair, and instead stepped around him to jog back to her bedroom. Once she felt she was suitably dressed, she wandered into the kitchen in search of whatever leftovers had been made for the morning.

Bacon.

She hummed in a sort of delight, pulling a small plate down from the cabinet. She picked her share off the pan on the stove, and slipped two slices of bread into the toaster for her sandwich.

“Morning,” She jumped a little at the voice, turning around with her hand pressed to her chest.

“Jesus, Trent.” She grumbled, moving towards the tassimo machine.

“So,” He started, tossing the paper onto the middle of the table, “Paul drove you home, huh?”

Ainsley let her head fall back for a brief moment before she shot him a look and turned back to her coffee, “What about it?”

She was positive Trent shrugged, “You never let anyone drive that thing.”

“First of all,” She spun around, placing a hand on her hip. “It’s not a thing, that is the love of my life. Secondly, he has a thing about girls driving.”

Trenton’s face skewered up, “Sounds like a sexist thing.”

“It’s not a sexist thing.” She argued, slathering butter onto her toast. Ainsley wasn’t sure why she felt the need to defend Paul - she, too, had believed it to be slightly sexist. She had wanted to ask someone about the accident that Paul was referring to, but also didn’t want to pry when it was really none of her business. Seated in her usual seat parallel to Trent, she stacked her bacon carefully in between her toast and took a few sips of her coffee before she started eating.

“Whatever,” Trent mused, leaning forward on his elbows, “Still weird, that’s all.”

Ainsley rolled her eyes, chewing slowly. The back door closed, followed by the sound of Iyah’s collar shaking as he trotted through the breezeway into the kitchen, his tongue lolled out to the side as he took his place at Ainsley’s feet. She smiled inwardly, lifting her chin to TJ when he entered the kitchen and picked another slice of bacon from the pan. “Morning, sunshine.” He smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to her wet hair.

“How was your night?” She asked, returning her eyes back to her food.

TJ nodded, “Much better than I expected, honestly.” He ran a tired hand over his face and leaned against the counter, “I was worried your ma was going to have a hard time feeling at home after everything that’s happened in the last few years, especially with our absence, but it’s like no time has passed at all.”

Good. Ainsley had remembered her mother worrying inconsistently about whether or not she needed to walk on eggshells, if it were really even appropriate that the family went to the party at all. Each time, TJ had reminded her that it would be more rude for us to be in town and not show up, which was ultimately the reason why she had reminded her children daily to not be late. “Billy seems to be doing better.” She noted, taking another sip of her coffee.

“Yeah, for a while there Jennie made it sound like we needed to be prepared for the worst.” Trent added as he leaned back in his chair.

“Jacob was giving him a hard time a few years ago, that’s all.” TJ dismissed, his brown orbs studying his children carefully. “You workin’ today?” He asked Trent, moving to pull another mug down from the cabinet. Trenton offered an ‘mhm’, pushing out of his seat with a groan before he quietly padded down the hall towards his room. “What you about? How’s the reading coming?”

Ainsley looked up from her empty plate and shrugged, “So far so good. I have plans to go down to the beach with some people from yesterday.”

Her step-father turned to look at her with surprise in his features, the corner of his mouth upturned in a grin, “Is that so?”

She nodded slowly, turning in her chair to face him, “Paul said a few of the guys were going to be at the beach blowing off some steam and that Kim and Leah would be there, so I figured it’d be a good way to catch up with them.” She shrugged.

“I think it’s a great idea,” TJ smiled, mixing his creamer into the steaming beverage. “Just wear something thicker, it’s supposed to drop pretty low today.”

Ainsley looked out of the window in the kitchen, pursing her lips in distaste before she slumped into her chair defeated, “It’s like summer never even happened.”

TJ laughed sourly, “Yeah. Makes me miss Canada.”

She shot him a look, “As if that was any better. BC wasn’t exactly the warmest climate, either.”

“Sure as hell beats this.” For once, Ainsley couldn’t disagree.

-

Several hours of reading later, Ainsley was staring out of her window at the rolling clouds. It was less gloomy than the day prior, which gave her hope that the rain would let up long enough for her to enjoy her afternoon with Paul and the others. She had yet to tell anyone else in the house she had plans for the day, save for her mother and TJ, whom she had reminded an hour ago when they made announcement they were heading into Forks for some groceries.

Her blue hues watched the trees just outside of her window sway in the wind, each branch bending under the gentle breeze. Unfocused, the forest looked as though it were painted with harsh brush strokes. Something she had trained her mind to do in her spare time; she would imagine what colour the trees would become if they ever caught fire, and at which point would there be no salvation, no point of return when the flame spread. From the corner of her eye, she could see a figure walking up her street just alongside the underbrush.

She turned to grab the sweater off her bed, pulling it hastily over her head as she shoved her feet into her shoes and bolted through the kitchen and down the stairs to the living room. She pulled the door open just as Paul had lifted his hand to knock on the wood; he wore nothing but a pair of cut offs, a thin black shirt and a gorgeous smile. Ainsley rocked back on her heels and shook her head at him, trying to offer him a look of disapproval. “How are you not cold?”

“I told you: the cold doesn’t bother me.”

She sighed and slapped her keys into Paul’s outstretched hand, “Yeah, and I still call bullshit.” She grumbled as she pulled the door shut behind her, shoving her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie as they walked to the Jeep. “It’s like forty-five degrees, there’s no way this isn’t bothering you.”

Paul opened her door and waited until she was seated and buckled in before he shut the door and jogged to his side, “Don’t worry about me.”

“You’re going to get sick.” She pointed out, turning to him with a stern face.

He snorted, “No, I’m not. I don’t get sick.”

Her brows rose, “You know who else said they never got cold and didn’t get sick? Trent. You know what happened to that jackass?”

“I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me anyway.” Paul mused quietly, pulling the Jeep off the curb and onto the street.

“Pneumonia. You should be wearing a sweater, at the very least.”

He shot her a look, carefully watching her face before he reached a hand across the console and grabbed her hand for the third time in less than twenty-four hours. He was still warm; Ainsley locked her fingers around his wrist, relishing in the heat that radiated through her palm and into her skin. It was almost as though the warmth washed over her in gentle waves, drawing out any unknown stresses she had.

“How are you this warm?”

“Nice, isn’t it?” He asked, watching Ainsley slip her eyes shut and rest her head against the back of her seat. She nodded, carefully keeping her lips pressed together in fear she might overstep any boundaries. It was intoxicating, being trapped in such a small space with Paul. He smelt like the forest after a rainy day, thick and heavy and wonderful. Paired with the warmth, Ainsley felt as though she were in her own personal heaven. Soon the vehicle was warm, gliding through the forested road with ease, offering a sort of peace she hadn’t realized she needed. The tension in her neck released, all strain on her shoulders lifted with each passing moment and she found herself leaning into his warmth, still tightly gripping onto his hand. The pulsing of her heart paired with the burning on her skin was distracting her busy mind from the anxiety of spending an entire afternoon with her brothers friends.

When Paul pulled into a tiny makeshift parking lot, Ainsley tried not to let her disappointment show. “Sorry, babydoll, we’re gonna have to walk the rest of the way.” He said solemnly, trying not to smile when he noticed her brows pull in and her lip curl, “What?”

“We discussed this. No nicknames.”

He looked down at his hand, “Are you planning on giving that back?” He teased, breathing out a chuckle once Ainsley released her grip on his arm and shoved her hands back into her hoodie. “C’mon, they’ve been here for a while.”

Ainsley pulled her brows together in confusion, bracing herself for the cold breeze when Paul moved around the vehicle to open her door, “Why didn’t we come earlier?”

“I work night shifts, remember? I don’t get to crash until like four, sometimes five.” He shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts, “Slept until like 12, went to Emily’s to steal some of her leftover breakfast and then walked to your place.”

“You stole Emily’s leftover cooking?”

He pushed his shoulders forward as a sort of shrug, “We all do. Sam’s is kinda our hangout space.”

The teen considered this, keeping her eyes on the ground as he moved over pieces of driftwood lying across the beach. “You’re all really close, aren’t you? Not just hanging out at Billy’s for a birthday close - “

“Everyday close .. pretty much.” He finished, looking down at her with pursed lips. “We really all only have each other, I consider most of them my brothers.”

“Why?” She asked, cursing under her breath when the wind picked up and bit at her cheeks.

Paul waited until she caught up to his side, helping her up over what appeared to be an entire tree trunk. The beach on the opposite side was cleared, and was covered in neatly carved logs, blankets and the remainder of Paul’s friends. “Just how it goes sometimes. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiled, looking over to where his brothers ran around, torsos bare, legs easily slipping in between one another’s, trying to maneuver the tattered ball around on the sand.

Ainsley suddenly felt very overdressed - even Emily only wore a thin long-sleeve on her arms. Still, she lifted her chin and followed Paul towards the group, all of whom looked up briefly to greet him as he led her towards the blankets. “Here,” He rummaged through one of the bags, pulling a grey knitted comforter from the bottom, “This one’s mine, you can use it.” Her fingers eagerly reached out for the blanket, draping it around her shoulders as she shivered internally.

Ainsley tried not to stare as he slipped his shirt over his head.

“You’re all insane.” She grumbled, looking up at his towering frame, “And you’re going to get sick.”

“I don’t get sick.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, you don’t get cold, either.” She spat, crouching down until she was close enough to the ground to fall back onto her bottom beside Embry. “He’s insane, right?”

Embry was leaning back on his right hand, feeding himself a cheese string with the other; at the sound of her question, he looked up and blinked, swaying his head back and forth as he considered his words, “He just likes to show off.”

“Fuck off.” Paul growled, tossing his shirt at Embry before he ran off towards the group, greeting Jared with a loud slap on the back. Both men grinned eagerly as the ball headed in their general direction.

“You actually came.” Embry mused, pulling another cheese string out of the bag beside him. He offered it to Ainsley, which she bit into immediately.

“I said I would.” She replied, looking past the hustling legs of the boys, watching the crisp waves of the ocean roll up onto the shore, the peaks of the waves higher than usual. “I’m really terrible at soccer, though.”

“You can be on Jacob’s team, then.” Jared called from beside Paul, “They’re already pretty terrible, it’ll make you feel better about your lack of know-how.”

Ainsley held her hand up, middle finger extended; Jared shared a quick look with Paul, the pair laughing lightheartedly. She watched as the ball came flying up, smashing into the side of Jared’s face, his smug grin disappearing entirely as he looked forward to Jacob. Embry and Kim cracked the gentle air with loud laughs, causing a small smile to break across Ainsley’s lips. Her cousin’s hands flew up in a sort of ‘oops’ gesture, turning to Seth with a knowing smile.

Ainsley spent the next hour watching Paul bend and twist his body to keep the ball away from Jacob and Leah. She couldn’t help but admire the way the muscles contracted under his darkened skin, rippling with each movement. She thought about the warmth his touch provided, and how in this moment he truly wasn’t bothered by the cold. How completely at ease he appeared. Without realizing, the smile that had formed on her lips remained as she spoke with Embry and Kim about the boys, frequently asking Emily questions about her cooking and how she managed to feed an entire family of thirteen. She admired her patience.

“Alright, duckie, I’m tagging you in.” Paul breathed, slapping Kim on the knee as he fell onto his back in front of Ainsley’s crossed legs. “You don’t like the blanket?”

Ainsley looked down to her lap that was covered in the knitted comforter; she had removed the blanket from her shoulders simply because the air had grown warmer. With all the laughing, and talking, Ainsley now felt as though she were sweating under her layers, “I do, I just feel a little warmer.”

Paul smiled, reaching into her lap to steal a slice of her orange, “Good.”

He sat out of the next few rounds, contently asking Ainsley questions regarding her brothers and her online courses. She answered all of them with an eagerness which he seemed to appreciate; she explain about how her mother met TJ when Ainsley was three, and how it had been the most epic love she had ever seen. How she had never grown up wanting something like Romeo and Juliet, or any sort of princess. She wanted something she could grow from, something that inspired her to become everything she was supposed to be. TJ made her mother shine in ways she wasn't even aware possible, their love never seemed to grow old. They never tired of each other.

She talked about how she swore Travis and Trent could’ve been twins, what with their buzzed hair and heavily tattooed bodies. Trent might’ve been the eldest of the siblings, but Travis was definitely the tallest. She talked about how Trent helped her rebuild the engine on the Jeep a few years ago as a summer project and how in that time she definitely learned to appreciate his company in more ways than just some step-brother that felt obligated to love her. They genuinely put aside the whole related-by-law aspect; they were a family, blood or not.

When she spoke about her schooling, she mentioned how she understood why Travis had picked corrections. Wanting to work with at-risk youth herself, she definitely felt like she had a lot she could have in common with him, but also mentioned how she was certain he was getting into his career field for all of the wrong reasons.

At some point, the rest of the boys had come up off the beach shore to lounge on the blankets. It wasn’t long before the air around her grew increasingly warmer, and she relaxed entirely. It was definitely a different feeling, a different atmosphere with her brothers absent. Ainsley had assumed she was be viewed as their friend’s little sister, but instead she felt as though this were her rightful place.

When the sun began to set behind the rocky tops of the island in the distance, Paul mentioned something about getting her home to finish her reading for the day. Begrudgingly, she said her goodbyes, pulling Jacob into a tight hug with a promise to visit his father again soon. Paul wrapped the blanket back over her shoulders as he led her away from the secluded area of the beach. Once back in the confinement of her Jeep, Paul started the vehicle and Ainsley automatically reached for the the heater.

Paul offered his hand this time, watching her as she hesitated for a moment before Ainsley tightly gripped onto his hand and hummed in satisfaction as the burning sensation travelled up her palms into her wrists. “I don’t know how you’re still warm, but I’m definitely not going to complain.” She murmured, letting her eyes fall shut as she rested against her seat comfortably.

The ride away from the beach was mostly silent, save for the blast coming from the heaters. When they finally arrived back on her end of the reservation, he parked the car and spent a few minutes talking to her about he’d promise to wear more clothing if she promised to come with him against for another afternoon of beach soccer.

“Emily invited me to breakfast.” She said simply, offering a small smile.

Paul rose his eyebrows, “Really?”

Ainsley nodded, tightening her grip on his hand, “So let me know when you’re not working a night so we can go. It’s not really breakfast if you don’t show up until twelve.” She said, watching him open his mouth and shut it, twice, very quickly.

He laughed once and nodded, “I’ll have to get back to you on that, unfortunately.” He mumbled, to which she pulled her phone from her back pocket and offered it to him. Once they had swapped numbers, Ainsley tried to offer him back his blanket, “No, keep it. I don’t want to carry it home.”

Once inside the warmth of her room, Ainsley rushed to the window and watched Paul crack a smile up at her and wave before he walked backwards towards the street, and then took off in a light jog. He disappeared behind the underbrush for the second day in a row.

Ainsley collapsed onto her bed, still wrapped in his blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so lemme know if ur diggin it ok i dont ask for much just like .. lemme know


	4. YOU'RE A PIG

The next few days stretched on; each morning Ainsley awoke with a certain kind of energy that fuelled her days, a new message left for her to read like clockwork. Simple wishes that she had slept well, wishing her a good morning, offering her kind words of encouragement - so much different from what she had originally expected from a man with Paul’s arrogance. Her heart would flutter erratically in her chest, warmth would race through her veins, having the the idea that she was possibly the only one that had the pleasure of seeing such a soft side of him. Ainsley pushed through her long days, sending him messages periodically, trying to restrain herself from messaging him in a timely manner or often, not wanting to seem too eager.

She tried not to think about what the boys had said at Billy’s - about Paul ruining a new girl each week. She tried not to think about what he might be doing in his spare time, whether he had ever managed to ‘break’ the blonde from the beach, whether he spent his time with her. She wanted to believe he wasn’t truly that kind of person, but she wouldn’t put it past him to be exactly that kind of guy. Maybe he was just being polite. From the moment Travis had crowned her off limits, perhaps Paul saw her as a new challenge; she might not have grovelled at the soil he walked on, but it would have been completely useless to try and deny any sort of attraction she had to him.

Pushing the idea from her mind, she pulled her hair from it’s bun atop her head and shook her waves loose. Her blue hues darted towards the phone rested beside Iyah’s head, running her tongue slowly over her top lip before she leaned forward and pressed the home button, illuminating the screen.

One new message.

She pulled herself back, bringing the phone with her.

_This is new. Never had a girl give me her number and then ignore me._

Ainsley laughed, chewing her bottom lip as she replied,

_Not ignoring. Studying._

_Need a break?_

_Not till I’m done._

_Okay, and then we can eat? I’m staaarving._

_Then eat?_

_You don’t eat?_

_Yes?_

_… k? You plan to eat, i plan to eat. Let’s eat._

_I have to study.._

_K… then we can eat?_

_You don’t have to wait for me. Just eat._

_I know I don’t HAVE to, I want to._

_But I can’t, so go ahead._

_K._

Paul’s persistence was annoying, but admirable. Ainsley grew up watching Paul go from being a snot-nosed bully, eating blue crayons and glue into the tall, handsome and excessively charming man he was today. She was certain he had screwed his entire way through high school, and tried not to be flattered that his attention had moved onto her.

She tossed her phone back onto her mattress, spinning in her chair to face her computer again. She had already drilled through almost an entire two weeks worth of homework, and had a leg up on her case study that wasn’t due until the end of the month. School had always been her strong suit, but Ainsley had preferred to stay home instead of move away; as much as she enjoyed Seattle, four hours was simply too far away to be from her mother. She had opted for online courses so that she could find part time work, save to pay her tuition off.

After another hour of staring at the screen of her computer, she groaned and rubbed her tired eyes. Hunger slowly began to seep into her abdomen, prompting her to push away from her desk and wander into the kitchen. She rummaged through her cupboards and fridge - it appeared as though another grocery shop would have to be made. Cereal for lunch didn’t sound particularly satisfying, but then again, neither did going hungry. Just as she was pulling a bowl down from the cabinet, the doorbell rang.

Ainsley pulled her brows together, looking towards the stairs that led to the living room. Her mother hadn’t mentioned anything about company dropping by, and to her knowledge no one else was home aside from her. Most days she spent the bulk of her time alone; Travis had class from eleven till six, Trent worked nine to five, her mother alternated between night shifts where she would sleep most of the day, or day shifts where she wouldn’t come home until her family had cleared from the dinner table. TJ seemed to never be home during the week, but made an effort to take weekends off to get things done around the house.

The doorbell rang again, bringing Ainsley out of her trance. She descended the stairs, pulling her sleeves down on her sweater as she flipped the lock on the door and pulled it open: Paul stood on the other side, holding a grocery bag full of tupperware containers.

“What -”

“Lunch.” He smiled, holding out the bag.

Ainsley folded her arms, mirroring his smile for half a second before she scowled, “I told you I was studying.”

Paul nudged past her, kicking his boots off at the door. “And I told you I was hungry.”

“Pretty sure I told you to eat.” She grumbled, shutting the door behind him to keep the cold outside.

For the first time, Paul rolled his eyes at her words and craned his next to look at her, “So you’re not hungry?” He asked skeptically, brown orbs darting down to her stomach, the corners of his mouth threatening to upturn as a growl erupted through the quiet air. “That’s what I thought.”

Ainsley watched as he took the stairs two at a time, disappearing into the soft light of the kitchen. She stood at the door for a moment, breathing out a sigh before she slowly followed after him. He was pulling the containers from the bag, opening the lids as he went, “Emily sent me home with some leftovers from last night’s dinner,” He started, popping a few into the microwave. “She makes the best gravy, completely homemade. To die for.”

“Do you always bombard girls with food unannounced?”

“No, but it was time.”

Ainsley plopped into her respective seat at the table, pulling her brows together in confusion, “For what?”

Paul stopped, turning to glance at her with a look that mirrored her confusion, “Lunch.” He said simply, turning his head around the kitchen again, examining the cabinets.

“What are you doing now?”

“Plates?” He asked, arms reaching up to pull open cupboards one by one, humming in satisfaction when he found what he was searching for. He divided the food onto two separate piles, pouring the steaming gravy over each plate to douse the food in the brown substance before he lodged forks into their mashed potatoes and carried over their plates with a triumphant grin.

“Holy shit,” She breathed, looking down at the portion sizes. Her's was reasonably large, but she wouldn’t complain. But Paul’s? His potatoes covered nearly half the plate in heaping mountains, two full chicken breasts covering the other half. “That’s a lot.” She swallowed, watching him shovel a forkful into his mouth.

He skewered his face and shook his head, “I’ll probably eat again in two hours.” He stated simply, watching he cut into her meat.

Ainsley tried to keep disgust off her face - she had never been able to eat as much as brothers had, lord knows she tried. She’d insist she could handle seconds, would inhale her food just as quickly as they would and then (one too many times) end up with her head in the toilet, sick because she had obviously pushed herself too far. After about twenty minutes of nothing but the sound of their chewing, Ainsley scrapped the last of her potatoes into her mouth and hummed in satisfaction.

“Pretty damn good for leftovers.” She stated, leaning back to rest her hand on her stomach.

Paul nodded, “Also why we spend all of our time at Sam’s. I’ve been eatin’ pretty good since I was sixteen.”

Ainsley let her eyes trail over his bulging muscles, biting back a comment. She didn’t doubt that for a moment, but instead offered him a wide smile, “Thank you for lunch.” She stood, bringing her plate with her as she touched her fingers to his shoulders as she passed, setting the plate in the sink. When she turned, he was moving to follow suit, and she wagged her finger, “Nu uh, you brought the food. I’ll clean. Sit down.”

Paul rested his elbows against the oak table, pondering on a thought as Ainsley poured soap over the sponge, running the warm water over the plates to remove any visible traces of food residue. “How’s the studying going?”

“Good. I’m ahead by a few weeks.”

Paul’s eyebrows shot up, “Weeks?”

She smiled sheepishly, looking at him over her shoulder, “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of spare time.”

He considered this for a moment, leaning back with his hands behind his head, “Guess I’ll have to fix that then.” He teased, his smile breaking a little wider when she didn’t argue or protest. “I have tomorrow night off.”

“Breakfast Sunday, then?” She asked, vigorously scrubbing the plate in her hand.

“If you’re still interested.” He said quickly. “No pressure.”

Ainsley laughed once, shaking her head, “Emily invited me. I’m gonna go to breakfast.”

“Would you go if I wasn’t?” His voice was behind her suddenly, causing the plate to slip from her fingers into the water. She gripped the counter tightly, hanging her head as she breathed out slowly. One of these days, someone was going to scare her and she was going to lose it.

She considered this heavily for a moment; she wouldn’t have received the invitation without Paul in the first place, but she had also taken into consideration that much of that group was her family. Jacob, Jared, Colin - they all tied to her directly. Still, she let a sigh slip through her lips and found herself shaking her head, “No, probably not.”

Paul folded his arms across his chest, coy smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he watched her turn around and lean against the counter, “So I’ll come get you Sunday morning, then.”

She snorted, mimicking his stance, folding her own arms, “‘ _Coming to get me_ ’ seems to mean you show up and drive my car.”

He squinted his eyes, leaning forward; close enough that his breath tickled her skin, “Then I’ll pick you up. In my car. Or we can walk - Sam's isn’t too far if you cut through the forest.”

“Through the forest?” When he nodded confidently, she dropped her arms and brushed past him towards the stairs, “You really are insane, you know that?”

“What’s wrong with the forest?”

She looked up at him from the bottom of the stairs, hand on the banister, “It’s creepy. Looks pretty, but I wouldn’t put it past us to get lost -”

“Us? No,” He thumped down the stairs, hands pushing her hips, forcing her into the living room and away from the door, “I don’t get lost.”

Ainsley rose a single brow, “Wow, look at you. The whole package - don’t get cold, don’t get sick, don’t get lost. Is there anything else I should know?”

Paul licked his lips, fingers gripping onto her waist gently, “They say I’m good with my mouth.”

“ _They_ , huh?” She asked, pushing herself away. She watched him cringe the slightest bit, his hand coming up to run through his hair, pulling it into a disarray.

“Poor word choice.”

Ainsley shrugged, falling back onto the couch, “It’s accurate, isn’t it?”

He followed suit, pulling her feet into his lap, “Slightly. I’m not - Okay, I’m trying to make a few adjustments.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He watched her carefully, “Is that an issue?”

She draped her arms over her full stomach, “What, exactly? That you’re experienced or that you're a pig?”

He winced again, his thumb pausing in the middle of it’s circular motion, “‘M not a pig.”

“‘ _Who’d you pick to ruin this week?_ ’” She dropped her voice in a poor imitation of Embry’s, holding her fingers up in quotations.

Paul sighed loudly, “They make everything far more dramatic than necessary. It’s not every week, and I don’t ruin women.”

“Then what is it?”

He growled quietly, dropping his gaze to her feet, working his fingers into her heel, “I was never looking for a relationship. And no, I never slept with the same woman twice - except the one, but that’s because we had an understanding.”

“So you invited girls home, fucked them and then, what? Never called again?” When Paul didn’t respond, she groaned and propped herself up on her elbows, “You never called any of them? Ever?”

“I don’t promise anyone anything, babydoll. They don’t stipulate a relationship before spreading eagle on my couch.”

Ainsley curled her lip in disgust, “That’s somebody’s daughter, Paul. How would you feel if it were your daughter?”

Paul had already considered this, “My daughter better not drop her panties for some asshole she just met, let’s put it that way." He growled, kneading her foot. "They don’t tell me they expected a relationship anymore than I told them I expected sex with no strings attached. How is that any different?”

“You’re a pig.” She deadpanned, gently kicking his stomach with her foot.

He shrugged, “I’ve been called worse.”

About an hour later, they had settled onto opposite ends of the couch, the television playing a rerun of **FRIENDS** quietly, the pair of them too lazy to move or say anything more. Ainsley hated to admit it, but she didn’t completely hate his company. In fact, she felt a lot more at ease with him around.

When the front door opened, it revealed her brother (who remained frozen in the doorway, eyes darting between the pair on the couch), Jacob and a small girl with hair as wild as her eyes. Ainsley sat up, pulling her feet off Paul’s lap as Jacob waved from behind Trent.

“Hey, guys - uh, you’re home early.” She said, looking over to Paul.

He seemed unbothered. He looked towards the teen hanging onto Jacob’s arm, and smiled, “Hey, Nessie.”

“Looking good, Paul.” She said, her voice carrying over the television with ease.

“What’s he doing here?” Trent hissed, jutting his chin towards the back of Paul’s head. Ainsley shrugged, folding her legs under her body. “This is Ness - Ness, this is my sister, Ainsley.”

Ainsley leaned forward with an outstretched hand and shook the teens, “Hi, Ness?”

“Renesmee.” She smiled, her grip tightening for the briefest moment before she returned to her place next to Jacob. Jacob smiled.

Paul sat up, scooting over on the couch to make room, “Old man finally let you come back down here, huh?” He asked Renesmee with a knowing smile, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

Renesmee rolled her eyes, following Jacob onto the couch, leaving Trent standing by the door, his eyes still closely watching Paul and Ainsley, jaw working under the skin. Ainsley shot him a look, to which he sighed. “He still thinks you’re a bad influence, but mom totally took your side.”

Jacob turned to his cousin behind Paul’s back, “Paul and Jared took Nessie cliff diving for the first time three weeks ago - Edward was totally pissed.”

“Cliff diving?” Ainsley asked, looking at Trent. He shrugged, kicking his boots off at the door and joining them in the living room. “Why do I feel like Edward has a right to be super concerned?”

Paul turned to look down at her, the right side of his mouth pulling up, “It’s safe. I’ll take you.”

Jacob snorted, “Good luck. Ainsley’s a chickenshit.”

She whined in protest, “I am **not**!”

“She is,” Trent nodded, “It’s also cold as balls outside and she’s the only person I know that could catch the fucking flu just for not wearing a hat when it’s below forty degrees.”

Ainsley glared at her brother, “That was one time, dickmuncher.” She growled, leaning back into the cushions on the couch. “And it was a cold, not the flu.”

“Sure sounded like you were dying.”

“I really have to wait until it’s warmer outside to take you?” Paul asked; his mouth seemed to form into a slight pout, his eyes pleading.

She pursed her lips, “Jacob’s not entirely wrong. I really don’t do well with heights.”

Paul waved her away, “It’s not so bad, you’ll be fine. Just close your eyes.”

Nessie shook her head from the other side of the couch, “Don’t listen to him. That’s how he got me up on the cliff to begin with.”

Jacob shook his head, looking at Paul, “I left her with you guys for two hours.”

Ainsley spent the remainder of the evening talking with Renesmee about how she knew Jacob. She had a small inkling that the pair might have been involved, but they gave no proof or indication that they were anything other than friends. Trent invited the boys downstairs to play darts, to which Ainsley and Renesmee followed, sipping on mugs of hot chocolate. No one had realized how late the day had gotten until Travis came downstairs, tossing his jacket onto a chair. “Let’s play teams. I call Jacob.”

Trent and Paul stood together, whispering back and forth while Jacob took his shots, and every once in a while Paul would look over his shoulder to check if Ainsley were still in the room. She would smile, and he would wink. As no one had school or work in the morning, they camped out in the basement. Ainsley taught Renesmee how to throw a dart, and it wasn’t long before she was kicking everyone’s ass single-handedly.

It wasn’t until Paul touched her waist that she realized he had slipped his jacket and boots back on, “Where are you going?" she asked, setting her darts down on the table.

He cracked a sheepish smile, “I still work tonight, so I’ve gotta head out.”

Ainsley tried not to pout, gesturing to move up the stairs, “I’ll walk you out.”

They stopped at the door, Paul grabbed her waist again to pull her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his hips, resting her head against his chest with a sigh. “I’ll see you Sunday, ‘kay?” He asked, squeezing her shoulders tightly. She nodded, pulling herself away from his warm embrace with heavy reluctance, ensuring the lock the door behind him. Ainsley raced to the window, waiting until his dark figure disappeared down the street before she retreated back downstairs, fully prepared for a late night with her family.


	5. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW

Sunday morning came around; Paul had briefly mentioned over the phone he’d be by around nine. With much effort, Ainsley pulled herself out of her warm bed and sat on the edge with her head in her hands. She was exhausted. After tossing and turning for what appeared to be countless hours, the sun had finally risen above the trees in the distance. After what seemed like an eternity, she pushed herself from her bed and pulled her hair into a bun.

She took very little time washing her face and brushing her teeth, pulling on a comfortable pair of leggings and a warm hoodie, she plopped onto the couch with her knees pulled to her chest and waited patiently for Paul to knock on the door.

She killed about ten minutes scrolling through her syllabus, determining which projects needed the most attention and priority when Paul’s face appeared pressed against the window. Ainsley stifled a laugh, meeting him at the door with a wide smile as she shoved her feet into her shoes, “Morning,” She said lightly, pressing herself into his side when he wrapped an arm around her.

“Did you sleep?” He asked, brows pulled together in concern. His fingers came up to gently brush the underside of her eyes, worry lines etching deeper into his russet skin. “You look tired.”

Ainsley lifted her nose, scolding herself internally as the hairs on the back of her neck stood when he trailed his fingers across her skin, “Sleep is for the weak.” She stated.

When she looked around the driveway, there was no clear indication he had brought his own vehicle. She pressed her lips into a tight line, reaching into the pocket of her sweater to pull out her keys with a heavy sigh, “No, we don’t need those today.” He said, pushing her hand back into her pocket.

Ainsley skewered her face in confusion, “How else are we getting to Sam’s?” She asked.

Paul pointed a general hand in the direction of the earthy green sea, pulling the cap he wore backwards on his head. She deadpanned for a brief moment, blue hues darting up to his smug smile for just a second before she sighed in defeat, “We’re going to get lost.” She stated, but followed him forward nonetheless.

He waved her worries away, leading her through the underbrush with confidence. She was certain he had navigated through these woods often, but was unsure on how he managed to lead them through as though they were following a path. Had she attempted this walk alone, she would have definitely given up and tried to find her way back to civilization. As much as she loved the heavy scent of the forest after rainfall, and as much as she loved the way the trees bent in the wind, she still felt as though she was being followed - the forest on the reservation was much creepier than anywhere else she had hiked.

No tree seemed to be too small. The deeper they ventured, the quieter the air became. It was nice, being away from the general sound of vehicles and human life. Broken sticks littered the forest floor, the gentle snaps echoing above the sound of her breathing, the erratic thumping of her heart against her chest, the songs of the birds in the canopy just above her. She started repeating a mantra in her head, as sort of coping mechanism she had developed after her incident in the eleventh grade. She tried to rely on her own capabilities to soothe her worries and frustrations.

True to his word, a small lived-in wooden house appeared through the trees no more than fifteen minutes later.

As if he could hear her thoughts, he leaned down, lips grazing her ear as they neared the front steps, “Told ya.”

“ _Don’t_.” She warned. She was trying to sound annoyed, but her smile gave her away when she met his triumphant grin, slowing her speed so he could enter through the open door first. Everyone here was crazy, Ainsley decided, noting the chilly wind that pushed stray strands out of place.

The scent hit her like a brick wall; the air was thick with cinnamon and vanilla, the sizzle of bacon could just barely be heard of the loud voices of Paul’s brothers. Their heads turned in unison, cheery smiles breaking over their faces as they greeted Paul and Ainsley, “See Em, she doesn’t totally hate us.” Jared teased from across the room, ripping another piece of his muffin off to toss into his mouth. “We’ll have to kick it up a notch”

“Breakfast first, please,” Emily pleaded over the loud cackles of the boys, placing another plate full of heaping portions of breakfast meats in the center of the table. “I’m glad you decided to come.” She said in Ainsley’s general direction, wiping her hands on the messy apron around her waist. Ainsley slipped away from Paul’s side, wrapping an arm around Emily’s shoulder in a quick hug; she smelt like cinnamon.

“Do they always eat like this?” She asked quietly, watching Paul take a seat between Seth and Embry. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled around the corners and his cheeks pushed back, making him appear far younger than he looked - Ainsley had caught herself staring and returned her eyes to table. “Or is this just for your food?”

The woman gave her a coy smile, “I’d love to say it were just my cooking, but I’m pretty sure they’d eat just about anyone out of house and home.”

“Definitely just your cooking.” Jared said, shovelling another forkful of eggs into his mouth. “Kim can’t cook like this.” Kim, who sat next to her fiance, smacked him on the side of the head and pouted.

Embry nodded, “Ma doesn’t cook like this.”

Jacob shrugged, “Dad knows better than to bother trying anymore.”

It went on like that: the boys would make boisterous comments in between mouthfuls of food, professing their undying love and loyalty to Emily’s cooking. Ainsley had taken space next to Emily on a barstool just on the other side of the makeshift island in her kitchen, sipping her third cup of coffee. They watched the males eat in silence, finishing what some would call a normal portion of their own breakfast. Much of the morning consisted of Ainsley helping Emily clear the table and clean dishes ( _despite Emily’s various protests_ ), before she finally wandered over to where Paul sat.

She hesitated before she rested her palms against his shoulders, sighing in content as the warmth radiated up into her wrists. I could definitely get used to this, she thought to herself, offering Paul a smile when he craned his neck to look up at her. “Are you full yet?” She teased, glancing down at what should have been his bloated abdomen.

“Just about,” He breathed, placing a hand on his stomach as he relaxed under her hands. “Did you eat?”

Ainsley nodded in reassurance, dropping her hands onto his chest as she leaned forward against the back of his chair; Kim perched happily on Jared’s lap, Emily and Sam were tucked away in their kitchen, mumbling to themselves, Quil seemed to be absent (Paul had mentioned Quil would be absent. A lot). Everyone seemed to live in their own world, yet so comfortably together. As the morning wore on, everyone divided into their own conversations which prompted Ainsley to steal Embry’s chair when he retreated into the living room. She draped a leg over Paul’s knee, leaning over to take a bite out of the apple he was munching on.

She watched five sets of eyes dart in their general direction, all equally shocked and confused. “What?” She asked quietly, looking up at Paul. His face resembled much of what theirs did: complete and utter shock. “What?” She asked again, a little more panicked.

“You took a bite of his apple.” Jared started, peeking around Kim’s small frame.

“No one ever -”

“Dude,” Jacob started, looking at his cousin with slight disapproval, “If there’s one thing Paul _doesn’t_ do, its share food.”

Ainsley looked back at Paul who, much to her dismay, was nodding slowly along with what Jacob was saying. She sunk down in her chair, folding her arms awkwardly over one another as she felt the heat creep into her neck, “Sorry.” She muttered, fixing her eyes on the tabletop.

After a few quiet moments, the conversations picked up again, leaving Ainsley uncharacteristically quiet next to Paul. It was one bite, she thought to herself, trying not to feel too annoyed that it had been a big deal to begin with. He eats like he’s feeding ten people anyway.

A warm hand rested lightly over her knee, prompting her to look up sheepishly at Paul. “Don’t worry about it.” He said softly with a gentle squeeze.

“Then what was the big deal?” She asked quietly, shifting her body so she could face him a little better.

He shrugged, leaning forward on the table, “There was just an incident the one time someone tried picking food off my plate.”

“An incident?” She asked dubiously.

“Yeah, I uh,” He coughed into his fist, eyes wandering over to where Jared sat, tickling Kim’s side aimlessly. “I broke Jared’s nose.”

“You _what_?” She deadpanned, shaking her head in slight disapproval.

Paul dropped his eyes to the table, “My temper’s not the greatest.” He admitted quietly. “Something I’ve gotten better at handling in the last few years, but still,” He sighed, “I definitely broke his nose. And I definitely think it was _completely_ justified.”

She looked over to Jared again, trying to distinguish where exactly the break had happened - he looked completely fine to her. “Why not just whine like a normal person and move on with it?”

Paul snorted, “I don’t complain. What’s mine is mine - you don’t fucking touch what’s mine.” He stated simply, bringing his warm brown orbs to meet hers again.

There it was again. A soft pull that tugged on something inside her, that made her heart thump erratically in her chest, that made her head swim with a thousand different emotions. Ainsley tried to look away, but only found herself determined to hold his gaze, “You wouldn’t hit me.”

“Absolutely not.”

“And you’re not pissed at me.”

“Also no.”

“Why not?” She asked, tilting her head to the side. She watched him struggle with the question, mouth ajar as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t - or wouldn’t. She was beginning to feel like her relationship with Paul completely rested on the idea that one of them needed to be in power; the more power she had, the more information she could get from him. The more she understood. And she wanted to understand, but he seemed so closed off it seemed nearly impossible to really get to know him. He always had all of the power. This was his territory, and she knew that. The more she tried to fit in with his friends, the more she felt like she had earned a rightful spot amongst the group, the more she realized that with or without him present, the boys had an undying loyalty to each other. She would never come first.

She still didn’t want to have him live up to his reputation. She wanted there to be something more.

“Just shocked,” He said finally, shrugging as if it were no big deal. “That’s all.”

“That didn’t answer my question.” She argued, folding her arms over her chest again. Paul didn’t seem to hear her - or was choosing to not reply. She could see his jaw working under the skin, could see him making an honest effort to not engage in conversation. After five minutes of watching Jacob and Embry go at it in the dead space next to the stairs, she sighed to herself and slowly lifted her leg from Paul’s and sat upright in the chair. “Hey, Jake?”

“Yeah?” He grunted, wiggling free from Embry’s grip.

She smiled to herself for a moment, watching Embry lunge at Jacob’s torso, pulling them both to the ground. “Trent said you left some of Renemee’s things in the basement, did you want to come grab them?” She asked, laughing a little when Embry sucked in a sharp breath and let out a whine.

“You’re leaving?” Paul asked quickly, turning in his chair to look at her.

She tried to nod nonchalantly, “I have laundry to do, plus I’m kinda tired.” She admitted, standing from her chair.

“I can walk you.” He offered eagerly, moving to grab his hat off the table.

“Jacob’s gotta come anyway, I’m just gonna get a ride with him.” Ainsley touched his arm to stop his movement, “If that’s alright with you Jake?”

Jacob pushed Embry off him one last time and watched Paul carefully. After what seemed like two seconds too long, he nodded once. “Sure thing.”

Paul was trying to keep the disappointment off his face, pressing his lips into a hard line as he watched Ainsley walk over to where Emily sat with Sam, bending over to give swift goodbye-hugs. Emily offered her a container to pile some leftovers into, as well as a bag to carry it all home in. She mentioned wanting to see Travis and Trent again, and reminded Ainsley to visit again soon.

Ainsley tried not to let it bother her that for the first time in a while, she felt as though she belonged. But she didn’t really belong - she had repeated that several times to herself. These weren’t her people. She was merely the current fixation of Paul’s interest and attention, and as soon as that ship sailed, she would be back to spending her days locked in her room or stuck following Trent around like a lost puppy. She hated how at ease she felt with this particular group of people, and how easily it would all disappear.

She tied the bag in a knot, leaning down to wrap her thin arms around Kim’s neck in a short hug. Paul seemed too focused on the lines dug into the table to bother looking up at her when she waved goodbye to the group - she tried not to let that bother her too much.

Once outside, she inhaled deeply and relaxed. She hadn’t realized how warm it had been inside the kitchen, and considered how much warmer it could’ve been had the door not been left open. “I can’t believe how close they are.” She mused quietly, sliding into the passenger side of Jacob’s red Rabbit.

“What, the boys?” Jake asked.

She shook her head, “No, just how close they live if you cut through the forest.” Ainsley sighed, “Guess that was nice while it lasted.”

Jacob pulled his brows together and cut his eyes sideways at her, “Whatcha mean?” He asked casually, fiddling around with the stereo.

“ _C’mon_ , Jake,” She turned her head to look out of the window, “How often am I really going to see you guys?”

He seemed to consider this, “About as often as you see Paul, I’ll bet.”

“Doubtful.”

“How so?”

She exhaled loudly, “You really think whatever’s going on is gonna last? Look at who we’re talking about.”

Jacob laughed once, “He’s not perfect by any means.” He agreed, slowing the car down to the speed limit.

“So this is nothing different.” She stated simply, “In about a week, he’ll realize I’m not that interesting and he’ll move onto the next one.”

“Ains, what exactly did you think his plan was?” Jacob asked.

She shrugged, “I figured he saw me as a challenge. The cousin of one of his best friends, sister to some kids he used to hangout with when he was younger.”

Her cousin sighed loudly, “In the six years I’ve spent with him, he’s only ever invited one female to the beach to play soccer with us.” He said simply, looking over at Ainsley. “This wasn’t some malicious scheme to get into your pants, Ains. There’s a lot Paul doesn’t care about. And it’s definitely a long list - but we all knew this wasn’t the same-old-same-old as soon as he asked us to get together for soccer so you could come.”

Ainsley licked her lips and watched the trees roll by through the window. She didn’t want to get her hopes up in any way, especially when she couldn’t see what it was about her that made him interested in the first place. “I just don’t get it. He treats me so differently, but I haven’t got the slightest clue why.”

“He’s just bad at the emotional thing.” Jacob said dismissively, “It was Rachel’s biggest pet peeve, too.”

She blinked, “Rachel? Like, your sister?”

Jacob nodded once, “Mhm. They dated when Paul was seventeen. He chased her for almost a year before she finally agreed to go on a date with him. She was his first girlfriend.”

“Really?”

“Really really. Mainly because I was feeding the part of her that wanted to say no.” He smiled, “But it didn’t end well for them. They were on their way home from a party, Rachel was driving -” Realization suddenly hit her, and she felt a wave of guilt crash over her chest. “And a truck came out of nowhere. Hit the rear end, they spun into a ditch. Paul walked out scratch free for the most part. But Rachel,” He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, trying to force the emotion to remain under the surface. Ainsley could tell he had been practicing keeping them in check. “She visited very little before she met Paul. And after the accident, she blamed him. For yelling at her while she was driving, for compromising her ability to focus. She hasn’t been home since, and she only calls twice a year. Once at Christmas, and once for dad’s birthday.”

Ainsley sunk into her seat, trying to process the situation. Paul’s first serious relationship had been with her cousin. Who, while not only beautiful and strong, also happened to be older ( _at least by five years_ ) and mature. _It’s not a sexist thing. It wasn’t her fault or anything, I just don’t feel comfortable with girls driving._

“What about Paul?” She asked quietly, “After the accident? Did he seem .. different?”

Jacob shrugged, “Just about as different as you’d expect someone to be. He tried to avoid using his car for the most part, but he hasn’t really grown out of that. He only renewed his license so he could visit his mom in Tacoma last year for Thanksgiving. Up until recently, it was him and his dad, but his old man got sick of the reservation and moved out of state.”

In the short ten minutes it took for them to drive to her house, Ainsley had learned more about Paul from her cousin than from Paul himself. She could understand how something as delicate as the lack of family in the immediate area would bother him, but she still didn’t understand what his deal was.

“I still can’t wrap my head around it.” She grumbled, reaching for the bag in between her legs.

Jacob watched her meekly for a moment, his mouth turning up in the corner, “Don’t think about it too much. Just go with it, ‘kay?”

“It won’t last.” She stated again, moving to slam the car door behind her.

“ _Believe_ me, it will.” Jacob laughed, more to himself, following her inside the house.

She kicked her shoes off and rolled her eyes at him, “And how would you know?”

Jacob looked down at her; he towered much taller than Paul did. Or the rest of the boys, for that matter. He stood at nearly seven feet, overpowered by bulging muscles and a wide frame, “Because he never shuts up about you. Ever.” He said it as though it were painfully obvious, and also as though it were no big deal.

“And this doesn’t bother you?” She asked skeptically, watching him from the top of the stairs. “You had an issue with Seth suggesting to hit on me - but the man that embodies walking sex on a stick is completely fine?”

Jacob looked up at her with a defeated expression, “It’s not like that. He’s not gonna hurt you, he’s not trying to waste your time.”

“Then what is it?” She asked exasperated, slapping her hands down on her thighs.

“Not my place to talk about it.”

“He doesn’t want to talk about it, either.” She whined.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Jacob sighed, moving to slip past Ainsley’s small frame. “Get used to that.”

-

It was just past nine when she emerged from the shower, running her fingers through her damn hair as she quiet melody of her iPod sounded from somewhere on her desk. She flipped her phone over, scrolling through the series of texts - most of which had come from Jacob. After some time, he had messaged her as a reminder than what they had discussed earlier needed to stay between them. As secretive as Paul was, they both knew it was his story to tell. Doing so without his permission, or knowledge, felt wrong on many levels but she felt some sort of comfort.

She picked up the phone, and pressed dial.

The receiving end picked up immediately - almost as though they had been waiting patiently with their phone in hand all day. “Hello?”

“You didn’t say goodbye today.” She accused, falling back onto her bed with a slight bounce. Iyah snorted in protest.

“I’m sorry,” She could hear the twinge of sadness in his voice, could almost visibly see the lines between his eyebrows get deeper in her mind. “I didn’t think you would leave as soon as you did.”

Ainsley sighed, “I probably should’ve stayed.” She admitted, chewing on the inside of her cheek, “Or at least walked home with you. Even if I’m still one hundred percent certain you’re going to get me lost.”

There was a shuffle in the background, followed a the quiet chuckle. “I told you I don’t get lost.”

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” She tried, squeezing her eyes as she waited - _painfully_ \- for his response.

After what seemed like an eternity, Paul sighed and shifted on the other end of the phone, “I hate seafood.”

Ainsley opened her eyes and glared. Not at anything in particular, just slightly annoyed that he couldn’t take her seriously, “Ha ha.” She grumbled, rubbing her face with her free hand.

She could hear Paul sigh again; she wanted to reach through the phone and shake him. She wanted to yell about Rachel, and his dad. She wanted to ask about his parents and his current living situation. She wanted to ask ‘why me’ from the top of her lungs, she wanted to go on about all the reasons why she felt like this was some sick joke, but instead she waited patiently. He would either hang up, or change the subject.

“I like you.” He said suddenly, his voice more bubbly than before. “And you have to be my friend, I won’t take no for an answer.”

Ainsley rolled onto her side, “That’ll change.” She teased, glancing at the clock on the dresser. “I should go. I just wanted to say goodnight.” She mumbled.

“Always a phone call away.” He reminded her, “Goodnight.”

The phone went silent in her ear; she laid there for another thirty seconds before she pushed the phone away and rolled onto her side. As desperate as she was to finish her laundry, exhaustion soon took over. She had promised herself five minutes of rest - but once she readjusted her head and pressed her face into Iyah’s back, she drifted off.


	6. MUCH NEEDED DAILY FIX

The next few weeks went on like that: once a week the group met collectively for an afternoon of soccer on the beach, breakfast and random evenings spent together in her basement. The colder the weather became, the more Ainsley found herself drawn to the boys and their warmth. Most of days consisted of taking her laptop to Emily’s to finish writing case studies and essays, snacking on muffins and dinner rolls all while getting her much needed daily fix of Paul.

She _needed_ him. Needed to see him, at least once a day for no less than ten minutes. Of course she always wanted more time, found herself googling for questions to ask him to keep the conversation going. The less personal and invading the question, the more Paul was willing to talk about things. Things like what he wanted to be when he grew up, or what his first kiss was like. She enjoyed listening to him talk; watching the way his voice picked up when he seemed to be particularly passionate about his answer, watching him get more comfortable at being Paul with her. The Paul that the boys knew, the one everyone had the pleasure of seeing all the time. In all of his imperfect mess. He wasn’t trying to stay put together anymore to put on an impression - he was leaving such a large imprint on his importance as a person to her.

Each night she stayed up late whispering with him on the roof, later sneaking him through an open window. He would sit with her in her room, with the desk lamp illuminating the area just enough for Ainsley to pull his face together completely in the shadows. As though the darkness never existed in the shadows of his face. The first few nights Iyah would growl and bark - all of those nights Ainsley had shooed him ( _for the first time_ ) from her room so that she could keep Paul’s unknown presence from the remainder of her family. He would stay until just after she had fallen asleep, and ensure to leave a sticky note or text of some sort for her to read in the morning.

Jacob had been right. The less Ainsley tried to stop what was coming from happening due to her obvious insecurity, the more everything fit together. The way her brothers were able to keep their contact and place within the group of boys, but it never interfered with her alone time with either side. Each passing day invited for new bonds to be made; at week two, Ainsley had Seth and Claire following her around like puppies. By week three, Embry and Sam were adding to her growing list of official group approvals. By week six, Jared, Sue and Kim joined. Leah had been the toughest to break - Ainsley spent a lot of time trying to show her that her presence was necessary for Paul’s stability.

He seemed to drink less when she was around, spend less time doing crazy activities like cliff diving and taking night runs through the forest. Ainsley had the pleasure of experiencing the infamous temper with which Paul held, and had fully learned how to help keep his anger at bay. Paul had slowly started to swap throwing fists with tossing snide comments.

With Halloween just around the corner, Paul had spent a lot more time being adamant about watching horror classics in the spirit of ( _one_ ) of his favourite holidays. He demanded there be lots of chocolate and stupid pranks, even brought pumpkins to carve one morning after Travis had left for his day. Halloween definitely suited him, not that she would ever tell him. The bitter air invited thicker layers and jackets back to the reservation early this year. As the weather dropped, Paul had finally resorted to wearing jeans and sweaters in an effort to make Ainsley a little more comfortable. He looked adorable in his sweaters - with their faded logos and faded grease stains, they looked comfortable and lived in.

Thursday afternoon, Paul had finally gotten Embry and Seth to convince her to watch multiple movies about clowns. Ainsley wasn’t like most other people with a genuine disliking to clowns, but she also didn’t put it past her that she’d be scared shitless if one popped up out of nowhere. She sat opposite to Paul, feet tucked under his bum for warmth, eyes permanently pulled together in distress.

“This is gross.” She whined quietly, watching another spatter of blood hit the wall.

Embry turned to look over his shoulder, “This is quality shit right here.”

Ainsley shook her head and quickly pushed herself off the couch, “I’m gonna go get a snack, call me when this one's over.” Seth tried to stop her with his arm, although he seemed too invested in the screaming to really try. She laughed to herself as she slipped by and padded into the kitchen in search of Emily’s muffins for the day. When she pulled them from the still warm oven, she smiled in victory and plucked one from the plate.

No more than twenty minutes and two muffins later, Embry called out from the living room for her to come back for a comedy. This was their solution to avoiding a night full of their own slight annoyances and jumpiness. She moved to return to her spot which was, much to her dismay, almost entirely covered with Paul’s long frame. He pulled his eyes from the television to flash her an innocent smile.

“Sorry, babydoll.”

“Move.”

He responded by opening his arms as an invitation to join him. She let her mouth hang ajar for a brief moment before she rolled her eyes and caved, settling comfortably between his side and the back of the couch.

By Saturday, they had all taken the time to come together for a late night at Ainsley’s. Most of the boys piled into her basement, playing teams in pool and darts, drinking beers and listening to classic rock. Embry and Jared spent the night making bets, watching Jared lose every one. Seth had convinced Quil to consider a night out, while Jacob and Paul teamed up against Trent and Travis. The girls took sanctuary in the corner on a couch, sipping on coolers and eating chips while the boys did their thing.

“I heard Jacob say Paul was gonna do it.”

“No way,” Ainsley said, dropping her voice, “He’s barely even tried hitting on me, I’m like another one of _them_.” She pointed to the other males in the room.

Renesmee shook her head, “I don’t know, Ains. Jake’s pretty convinced.”

Kim sat forward with her lips half wrapped around the straw of her margarita, “Wait, he hasn’t asked you on a date yet?”

Ainsley pulled her brows together, “We’re friends, why would he?”

Kim and Renesmee shared a glance, no doubt in annoyance for her lack in observation. Ainsley didn’t want to rock the boat, and so she seemed to stay away from emotional and personal topics that might lead her to pursuit a man who (likely) didn’t see her as anything other than one of the guys.

“You’re fucking clueless. It would do the rest of us a whole lotta good if you two could figure your shit out.” Kim grumbled, pushing away from her pillow to steal another handful of Cheetos.

She darted her eyes to wear Paul stood, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his broad chest. She tried not letting her thumping heart overpower her ability to keep the from spreading into her neck and face. Each time she caught herself staring, she blushed. It was ridiculous, how important she had allowed him to become.

The next time Ainsley checked her phone, it was **2:54 AM**. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, standing next to Jacob with a set of darts in her hand, waiting for Travis to take his shots and clear his board. “You should sleep.” Paul said from behind her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to pull her into his chest. “You don’t sleep enough as it is.” He accused, bringing his mouth down to her ear.

“I sleep fine.” She grumbled, closing her eyes for a moment. The heater had yet to kick in, resulting in Ainsley and her brothers fighting over who got which extra blanket. Being as small and helpless as she was meant she usually got the short stick, and often wore layers to bed.

“You cold?” He asked quietly, rubbing his hand over her arm. She nodded slowly, locking her fingers behind his back.

“I think it’s bed time,” Trent said from his corner near the pool table, “Get her upstairs, would ya?”

Wasting no time at all, Paul swooped down to cuff his arm under her knees and hoist her up. She squealed, setting her darts down on the television stand as they walked towards the stairs. She waved a little goodbye to Kim and Jared in the corner ( _Renesmee’s mother had swung by to pick her up hour ago_ ) and pressed a kiss to Travis’s cheek in passing before they disappeared around the corner.

He took the stairs two at a time, stopping just before her bed to drop her onto the soft cushion. “Don’t pass out yet, I need to talk to you about something.”

She rose a brow in question, “Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” He stated simply, head caught in the doorway, “Open your window.”

When the door shut quietly, she hurried over to where the latch on her window locked and flipped it, pulling it wide open with both arms. Ainsley watched the lights downstairs flicker on five minutes later, Paul’s shadow appearing briefly in the driveway before he rushed forward and pulled himself up through the tree to get to her window. He slid in with ease, leaving his boots just under the window.

“Had to make them believe I was actually going home.” He shrugged, watching as she slid back on the bed to make room for him.

“Or we could just start being open about your visits.” She suggested; she had done this a thousand times, all of which Paul argued against.

“And risk your brothers tearing me into pieces?” He said quietly, smiling when she eagerly pressed her cold nose against his neck, shivering involuntarily into his warmth. “Trent suspects more than Travis and he doesn’t seem to happy about it.”

“Don’t worry about Trent.” Ainsley grumbled, throwing her leg over his knee. “He’s just pissed his bff isn’t around all the time to pick on.”

They laid in silence for a few moments; she was contently listening to the gentle thump of his heart, to the trees whistle in the wind just outside her window.It was moments like this that made her feel as though she already belonged to Paul - her efforts in keeping distance emotionally had been futile.

“You said you needed to talk to me.” She mumbled sleepily, turning her face up to squint at him in the dark.

He seemed to take a while to respond, carefully choosing his words she guessed. “I really don’t know how to do this with you.” He whispered, exhaling loudly into the silent air. “It seems so easy in my head, but then I think about the part where it doesn’t go as I planned and I just .. can’t anticipate what my reaction will be.”

Ainsley pushed herself up on her elbow to look at him, bringing her brows together in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“There’s an engagement party that Sam wants to pull together for Kim and Jared.” He started, looking up at her, “It’s like his way of giving them one last night of pure stupidity before they have to start making ‘adult choices’” He mimicked, dropping his voice to match Sam’s.

“Isn’t that what the bachelor/bachelorette parties are for?” She asked.

Paul shook his head, “Normally, yeah. But they decided they didn’t want their own parties, just one together.” He watched her for a moment, trying to analyze her thoughts on the information before he spoke again, “Come. With me.”

“I was likely already going, but okay -”

“No, I mean come with me. As my date.”

“Date?” She asked, thinking back to what Renesmee had said earlier in the basement. “Me?”

“You.” Paul nodded.

“Why?”

The shift in emotion on his face was instantaneous. His smile dropped and was quickly replaced with slight annoyance, his eyes moving from hers to the ceiling. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I didn’t say no.” She hissed, “I’m just asking why.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m Ainsley Black?” She started, sitting up right. “Because I’m awkward and quiet and not like pretty blondes you chase on the beach -”

“I don’t chase them -”

“Or have any particularly appealing qualities about me so I just don’t understand. Why me, and why now? You didn’t exactly show interest or attraction in me when we first met, I figured that ship had sailed.”

Paul looked at her for a moment, seeming disappointed. She wasn’t sure if it was disappointment in himself, or in her words, but he pulled on her arm until she collapsed back onto his chest and hugged her frame tightly in his warmth. Her skin no longer burned under his touch, because for the most part she always felt warm.

“Just go to sleep.”

“Paul?”

“Yeah?”

She hesitated, wanting to reconsider her next actions but decided against better judgment. She leaned her face up, and pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat gently. The way his body stiffened against her was all the confirmation she needed for the next; she smiled to herself and curled back into his side, resting her tired eyes for another night next to her personal space heater.


	7. NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

“You guys are absolutely _sickening_.”

The pair of lips melded together again, bodies pressing tightly together as he hoisted her from the couch to against the wall - and then proceeded stick his butt out at the group and shake it vigorously.

Ainsley shook her head at Jared and Kim, trying to keep the heat from spreading into her cheeks. Embry grimaced beside her, having taken Paul’s seat as he had failed to show ( _to said event he had asked her out too_ ). She had expected as much to be never asked out, but when it had happened and she agreed she didn’t assume after one minuscule argument that he’d completely isolate her at his best friends party.

She wasn’t really sure when it had started going down hill - probably could have been when Ainsley had bumped into an old high school classmate. They had never really talked, and they had agreed to go for coffee. Most of everyone from her high school took the next bus out of town to be anywhere but the reservation, so it was refreshing to see such a familiar face. Of course, Paul hadn’t liked that she had agreed to a ‘date’ with said classmate. He had been quite a child about it, actually.

“Get your head out of your ass, Paul.” She had growled, turning to walk away from him to retire for the night. She had decided on the car ride home she wouldn’t unlock the window.

“Are you fucking kidding - _hey_!” He grabbed her arm, forcing her to spin around. “Don’t just walk away!”

“This obviously isn’t helping.” She hissed, ripping her arm from his grip. The pull had hurt more than expected, and she instantly thought about the purpling that gripped around her arm. “It’s **not** a big deal.”

He gawked at her for a split second before he growled and run his hands through his hair, “How does everyone but you see it?” Paul wasn’t really asking her, moreso chewing at himself. “Of course it’s a big deal!”

“Why?”

Paul stopped his pacing and pursed his lips, hands on his hips as he stared at the ground and shook his head. “Now’s not the time, babydoll -”

“It’s Ainsley, to you.”

“Cut the shit,” He grumbled, walking down the driveway to the street, “You’re _my_ babydoll.”

“Too bad it’s a stupid nickname anyway!” She yelled, opening her door. “You have made it incredibly clear you want nothing to do with me, and you don’t get it. The reservations idea of a walking STD couldn’t be less interested in me if he fucking tried.”

Paul seemed to be genuinely bothered by her words, fists shaking at his sides, “I’m talking to a fucking wall.”

“Then go do what you do best, Paul.” She spat, turning around in her hallway, “I don’t care about what or who you fuck anymore.”

The door had slammed, and they hadn’t spoken for about twenty-seven hours before he had called her to remind her about soccer, and that Emily was expecting her. She had gone, and she hadn’t spoken much with Paul. It appeared as though he hadn’t had a chance to recover from their fight, and made very little effort to make eye contact. She appreciate that; if he was going to act like a child, he could keep his distance.

Now she sat, nearly a week later, trying to keep a straight or genuinely happy face in place to keep everyone else from the obvious fact she was completely upset that he hadn’t even bothered to say ‘ _I’m not coming, by the way_ ’. He just hadn't shown up.

“And you have no idea where he is?” She asked Embry for the thousandth time, squinting her eyes at him. He was hiding something; the more she asked, the less he was able to look at her with the same reassuring smile from earlier. “None at all?”

“Ains, just let it go -”

“I will not.” She hissed, leaning forward to glare at him, “This is our first date and he didn’t even have the fucking decency to -” She stopped herself, sitting back against the couch with her eyes closed. The heat was pulsing through her body, tears burning behind her eyes that had her breathing deeply and evenly, trying to force the calm console her.

“He is _such_ a shitty guy,” Embry started, trying to sound desperate, “He’s not good at reading people and their emotions, but neither are you." He pressed his lips together, jaw working under the skin as he clenched his teeth together, "I know where he is but I know that telling you isn’t going to doing anything but make how you’re feeling about yourself right now that much worse. I’m not that kind of friend.”

She rolled her eyes, glancing up at the happy couple as they hooked arms and each downed a shot. “Tell me.”

When he said the words, she wanted to laugh because that wasn’t the Paul she had gotten to know. That wasn’t her Paul. Her Paul would never stoop to that level, for any sort of reason. But she felt her heart sink into her stomach realizing that he was probably right: old habits die hard.

As if on cue, the door opened to reveal a dopey grin and the return of the infamous swagger with which Paul’s hips swayed when he felt incredibly confident in his importance. Ainsley found herself sinking into her seat a little further, trying to keep the utter disappointment off her face when she realized his smile was most definitely a post-orgasm grin, and that Paul had definitely just gotten laid. “I told you that you wouldn’t like it.” Embry apologized quietly, his eyes watching Paul with the same sad eyes. And it seemed as though he didn’t seem to notice - Paul continued laughing with his friend, teasing his fiance and sipping on his cold beer.

-

Ainsley dumped the rest of the empty bottles into the recycling bin at the end of Sam’s driveway, teeth chattering quietly as she made her way back into the house. “It’s freezing.” She complained to Emily, making her way over to the kitchen. “Are they drunk enough for me to leave?”

After a very awkward encounter which resulted in Embry threatening to beat the absolute shit out of Paul if he didn’t leave her alone, Ainsley was more than ready to leave when the tension had died down and all of the boys ( _including Paul and Embry_ ) were getting along and laughing as though nothing had ever happened. This was the loyalty she didn’t fall into. As well as Embry had meant, trying to keep Paul away from her to spare her dignity, she knew it was futile. They were brothers. She was the one that didn’t belong.

“Just about.” Emily said sourly, watching her husband tilt his head back to chug the remaining liquid in his bottle. They had already gone through what appeared to be four bottles of whiskey - each boy had a smile on their face, followed by an equally drunk Kim.

“Get them some water,” Ainsley said in dismissal, shrugging into her thick coat, “And get him to bed.” She looked at Sam. As the general alpha male in the group, being the oldest and all, she expected him to be the more civilized drunk. Apparently, Ainsley was very wrong.

She was gathering her things, ensuring she had secured all of her pockets in her coat before she turned to leave Emily’s. A strong pair of arms paired with a broad chest blocked her exit from the house. “Can we talk?” He asked, unmoving in his stance but his eyes swirled in chaos.

“Leave it alone, Paul.” Embry grumbled from his seat, his eyes locked on the cards dealt on the table.

“I have nothing to say.” She mumbled, trying to push past him. No avail. “ _Move_ , Paul.” She sighed.

“You _have_ to talk to me.” He pleaded, ducking down to force her to look at him. His hands grabbed her arms, pulling a wince from her when he gripped her just a little too tightly. “Just talk to me - **scream** , even.”

“No, Paul.” She growled, pushing against his chest to try and free herself, “I’m not interested in - _hey_!” He flipped her over his shoulder, keeping a tight grip on her legs. “Put me down!”

“See ya guys,” He waved, turning to back out of the door. She could almost envision the smug smirk on his face when he realized he definitely had the upper hand.

“No, Paul - Kim!” She pleaded, looking at Kim for help. She reached a hand out and pouted.

Her friend stood, hand pressed to her mouth as her lips cracked into an amused smile. “You two look ridiculous.” She laughed.

“Thank’s a lot, _friend_.” Ainsley growled, moving to pound a fist against the small of Paul’s back. “Let me go!” She cried.

“You DDing, Seth?” Paul asked as he shoved her into the back of the car, “Can you take us back to my place?”

Seth looked at Paul as he climbed into the back alongside Ainsley. She huffed in frustration, “I’m not going anywhere with you.” She leaned forward, looking up at Seth, “Seth, could you take me home, please?” She was trying to be sweet, but she was certain she sounded just about anything but polite.

“Just go to my house.” Paul ordered, trying to keep Ainsley from punching him in the face. She reared her fist back again and caught him in the jaw, momentarily pleased when he hissed.

He locked his hands around her wrists tightly, pulling them down to his lap, "Would you fucking _stop_?" He seethed, voice and arms trembling.

“I don’t know man ..” Seth said slowly, watching the pair struggle.

“Just fucking go or I’ll rip your eyeballs from their sockets!” Without another word, Seth pulled the car into drive and turned left out of the driveway. Once the house came into view, and the car had stopped, Paul thanks Seth curtly and pulled Ainsley from the backseat, and flipped her over his shoulder. Again.

“You’re such a fucking pain!” She screamed when the door closed behind them, trying to wiggle around in his grip to toss him off balance. Also no luck. It was like he had barely been drinking.

“ _Shut up_.” He growled, moving around the house to flick off lights as he traveled upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time. Ainsley felt dizzy.

“You can’t just fucking kidnap me, Paul.” She started, slapping his back again, “You can’t force me to be okay with what happened. Or be okay with who you did.”

“You told me you didn’t care who I did, _remember_?” He opened the door to what appeared to be his room, and flung her onto the bed, “You can sleep it off,” He seethed, turning to leave the bedroom. “We’ll talk in the morning. It’ll be fine.”

When the door opened again, she screamed in frustration, fists crashing against the bed frame, “You can’t do this!” She yelled, “I don’t belong to you!”

He spun around, fists shaking at his sides, veins popping from his neck as he gripped the wooden posts and leaned into her face, “Well _**I belong to you**_!”

Ainsley stopped, lips curled into a snarl Her eyes travelled his face as the vibrations slowly came to a halt and his breathed lowered. His eyes were darting between her lips and her eyes, the lines in his forehead smoothing.

“I belong to you.” He whispered this time, bringing a hand up to slid through her hair and bring her lips to his. The heat burned her mouth, her tongue tasting fire and blood as he eagerly parted her lips. Her hands slid up around his neck, pulling him closer, needing to feel more.

Their mouths moved together; desperate, eager and impatient. As though they were filling what craving they had both needed and wanted for so long, as though they were insatiable. She understood what it meant now, the comparison of people to narcotics. Paul was her drug of choice, and this was her high. It was the only high she wanted to feel for the rest of her life, she couldn’t imagine anything better.

Her back pressed into the mattress, legs falling to either side of his waist as he settled comfortably between her thighs with his free hand running down her front. In the next few moments, she was sure of a few things.

 **One:** Paul was very handy and definitely had a few tricks in taking the awkward part out in unclothing one another.

 **Two:** Ainsley very conscious of her body and the imperfections it bore. The scarring on her stomach, the way her thighs moved - they all had her trying to keep his eyes anywhere but her body.

 **Three:** She was absolutely in awe of how gorgeous he looked with the bare moon shining onto his chiseled muscles.

She felt herself relax under his touch, clinging onto the fire his fingers left in their wake. It was intoxicating, how thick and warm the air had become. How she contorted her body in excitement each time his fingers drew near, how she all but cried out when he finally pressed his digits inside her. The last time she had been intimate with another person, was nearly a year ago with the last boyfriend she had cared enough about to bring home to meet her brothers. Paul had already known her brothers, had already been accepted and loved by her family. She had thought about this exact moment for weeks, had woken up in cold sweats thinking about his hands roaming her body, pressing kisses to her chest, her legs, her neck ..

Now here she was, trying to push thoughts about his lips moving against that other womans, trying to block the visual image of her body pressing against her Paul’s in desperation to feel full and warm. This proved to be difficult; it had her wanting to cry, feeling ashamed of herself for wanting to continue despite the way he had completely torn down everything she had thought about him.

She still didn’t want him to live up to his reputation.

She needed there to be something more.

Her legs locked around his waist, encouraging him to move forward. She wanted to feel all of it, wanted to lose herself in his heat. “Paul, please.” She whimpered, latching her lips onto his neck to suck gently. “ _Please_.”

He seemed to restrain himself, holding himself up with his elbows, pressing his forehead to hers and he breathed deeply in an effort to calm himself. “This isn’t how I wanted to do this.” He muttered, breath faltering when Ainsley licked the salty sweat off his neck.

“Paul.” She grabbed his face to force his eyes on her, wiggling her hips up against his. “Don’t overthink it.”

She could tell he was trying not to. Could tell it was taking everything in him to hold himself back. Paul slowly trailed his lips down her body; paying careful attention to her chest, her hips and her hands. His mouth pressed hot kisses against her completely soaked panties, and then her inner thighs as he hooked his fingers into the sides and slipped them over her legs, tossing them somewhere behind him.

He held the look of a hungry man - he focused his eyes on her wet folds, fingers gently teasing her swollen lips. Paul opened his mouth and pressed his tongue against her, and Ainsley relaxed under him, placing a hand on the back of his head as he all but worshipped her. Every ounce of desperation he had poured into his work, and just as her legs began to quiver, just as she was trying to wiggle away from him, his left arm hooked around her thigh, holding her steady as he slipped two digits inside her, working with more purpose.

The moans that escaped were far louder than she intended to be; her body writhed in pleasure, breathing quickening as she twisted her hips against his mouth, "Shit, _Paul_ -" She moaned, arching her lower back off the mattress, exploding around his fingers. She gripped onto the sheets, biting her lips as he settled her down, removing his fingers and pressing slow kisses against her thighs.

Ainsley pulled him him to her, snaking her tongue into his mouth to taste herself before her vision clouded with black and she felt the heat and exhaustion take over.


End file.
